<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Specularis by KatiePaterow</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24930835">Specularis</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatiePaterow/pseuds/KatiePaterow'>KatiePaterow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Order (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Demon Summoning, Earthquakes, Established Relationship, F/M, Friendship, Hamish Duke/Cassie - Freeform, Hamish is the protagonist, Season 2, Season 3 speculations, Secret Relationship, Temple Magus promotion, Tiltidor(OC), Vera's past, Xzhuria(OC), Zecchia - Freeform, collective unconscious, if you squint real hard, non-magical Vera, some Rabrielle and Nicole/Lilith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:20:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24930835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatiePaterow/pseuds/KatiePaterow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hamish and Vera (+everyone else) after they stopped yet another apocalypse as narrated by Hamish (mostly).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hamish Duke/Vera Stone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>134</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. loved me with your worst intentions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>chapter title from hailee steinfeld's "wrong direction". </p><p>This chap is basically my own way of addressing some people's theories about there being shady business between the Vermish relationship. Obviously, none of what I write is prophetic nor true so of course, I could be proven wrong come season 3, but I honestly don't see Hamish as THAT kind of cunning. Hamish has always been friendly even towards Order members. He's always been accepting of change ever since we saw him on the show. And quite frankly, S1 Hamish = S2 Hamish. Not entirely, but they're identical bc they're the same person. As for Vera, she's a good person despite the cold facade and I don't think I need to expand on that. Vera's just a no bs queen. And even in s1, the two have already been giving each other 'the eyes', so...</p><p>Anyway, I'm sorry for ranting my ass here. Just needed an outlet. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hamish reminisces their first big fight.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from hailee steinfeld's "wrong direction"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>PART 1:</strong> <em>how do I make you wanna stay</em></p><p> </p><p><em>It took us a long time to get here.</em> There were so many a time where everything fell to pieces. Hell, to say we had a rough start would be a grave understatement. Everything between Vera and I began due to something out of pure want and attraction and lust. </p><p>I believe the spark ignited even that first time we saw each other. Back when we considered ourselves civil enemies to achieve a mutual goal – beating Edward Coventry – my interest had already been piqued. It was for sure strange, but it turned out to be another thing we agreed on<em> (she also admitted to having been attracted to me during that first proper meeting). </em></p><p>That first night, first time- it meant nothing, of course, but at the same time, how great we were together, how amazing she felt pressed against me; it was enough to pull us back to each other every time. And I would be lying if I said that our antagonism did not make the sex hotter, now that was an absolute plus.</p><p>All the good moments were great, but in the beginning, those were scarce, only shared every time we were intimate. The bad ones- oh, they were the worst. And every single time felt like the end. And it only got scarier and scarier each time.</p><p>An instance that could describe as one of the most disastrous was the first of the big ones.</p><p>I confess that I anticipated there to be a lot, but the reaction it got out of me still was something that I had no control of. We had no trust in each other. We were <em>supposed</em> to be enemies; supposed hate each other. It was only time for a real argument. </p><p>But the intensity in contention Vera had and the callousness that possessed her character, it was an overwhelming wake-up call that signaled to the point of no return.</p><p>I remember I was just handing her usual drink to her at her desk then as she consumed every last bit, she chuckled in a way that made her seem like a stranger to me. The sound of it hinted at the cruelty she felt. </p><p>"I didn't even think about the possibility that you were using me. How pathetic." </p><p>"Where is this coming from?"</p><p>"Do you think so lowly of me, <em> acolyte,  </em> that I would not figure out this whole charade?" Yet again, she released a laugh so cold and unfeeling. "Tundra, right? Isn't that your hide? The <em>cunning </em>one?"</p><p>"And what exactly do you mean by that?"</p><p>"Exactly what you presume it to be."</p><p>It was never my intention to do so, but I hit her exactly where it hurt. "Oh, so this is how it is now? Remind me again who initiated this?"</p><p>It was, of course, a mistake to assume that that was going to end it all. Even when the expression she had showed how much the words had affected her, Vera Stone wasn't someone who backed down from a fight. I had to learn the hard way. "Right. And that was a big mistake."</p><p>The sting that the words induced silenced the entire room except for the ringing in my ears. They were not from bad magic, but from my entire being shutting down. This was what I did not expect at all: how hurt I would be, the pain I felt. </p><p>As the leader of the Knights, I was not supposed to concede in any way, shape, or form. And particularly not to the Grand Magus of The Order. But that night, I was not the group's leader. I had bared myself enough in that <em>whatever-it-was </em>that I could not possibly think of myself as a Knight at that moment. I was just a man standing in front of a woman. So I decided to act in favor of that man. "Okay. I think... we need a few moments to breathe and calm down. We're both adults, I'm sure we could talk without resorting to the defensive."</p><p>I was willing to initiate the first step in hopes of her being willing to take the next with me. Thank goodness for optimistic expectations. "So, you want to continue our <em>very calm discussion</em>?" I especially emphasized the last three words.</p><p>She hesitated the whole time, at some point, surrendering due to her inability to articulate and instead focused her energy on staring at me. I liked to take her reluctance as a sign that she was trying in her way.</p><p>I grabbed the opportunity to explain myself. "Just to be clear, I am not my hide. As I live and breathe, so does Tundra. His thoughts, memories, and experiences- they are both separate and a part of me.<em> He </em>is a part of me, but I am not him. He doesn't make any decisions for me. Especially not ones I make for purely selfish reasons."</p><p>She arched an eyebrow at me, uncertain of the meaning behind what I just said.</p><p>"No. Not <em>that </em>kind of selfish."</p><p>After what felt like forever of us exploring untested waters, I finally get the first positive reaction of the evening; Vera's mouth quirked up. It was not a huge grin or anything remotely close, but it was still something. </p><p>"So what you're implying is you're not-" She didn't dare fill in the blanks.</p><p>"No. Tundra could influence my decisions, but never my- my feelings." I couldn't help but choke. It was, after all, new for us to be this direct. "What I'm saying is, whatever and however I acted towards you, none of those were fabrications."</p><p>"Then why are you here?"</p><p>"Are you asking me why I'm attracted to you?" I playfully shrugged, glad that the tense atmosphere finally left the room. "Well, honestly, who isn't? You being the great tactical leader you are certainly was one of the biggest reasons in my case. But, you, even better than I do, understand that <em>this </em>thing between us, it's quite unexplainable."</p><p>And that's exactly how the first big fight ended. Well, that was not quite how the night ended. But that was just the first of many.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. are we whole or just two halves reaching out to the unknown?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The question "what next?" is answered little by little.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "maybe we were meant to be alone" by bad suns</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Indeed, it took a long time to get here. To even be mutually comfortable to be so vulnerable and genuine, it was like a distant and unwanted dream once upon a time ago. Many were the doubts, the not-just-occasional harsh quips. Heck, we even almost died! Yes, the two of us, targeted at the same time in two separate places. Much has happened in the span of only a couple months, but as Vera tugged on my hand, gripping it tightly everything was worth it.</p><p>Thus, here we were, still latching onto each other through our entwined fingers, both occupied with the uncertainty with what was to come. <em> What's next? </em></p><p> </p><p>So apparently Vera's list of <em>things to do immediately </em>included breaking the news of her decision to me. "Vera? Are you certain? Temple Magus? Wouldn't that be-"</p><p>"Be what?"</p><p>"Look, all I'm saying is-" I licked my lips in frustration. "I've only been here for a few months, and in the short time that I've been around, even I know that your promotion process takes a little longer than just a few months."</p><p>"Wouldn't it be rather suspicious? And that's even worse when you acknowledge the fact that it only took us three months to become Medicums <em>(or Medici, whatever) </em> then Magistratus." I was so close to shouting, but I figured that that would be unnecessary. And what Vera needed was a calm and sound mind or voice. "Honestly, do you believe this to be the right decision?"</p><p>A sigh escaped her mouth, which was followed immediately by her shrugging nonchalantly. Her eyes were directed at me for a few moments, but they were gone from view when she bowed her head defeatedly. I sincerely understood why she was acting this way. I empathized with her, but her being this down wasn't a common sight to see her in. </p><p>Regardless of the severity of the chaos and destruction she's faced, never had she ever seemed this defeated. And I knew exactly why that was: <em> her magic</em>.</p><p>"Vera." I gradually reached for her cheek. "I understand why you're this upset. It's okay. Let yourself grieve. What's not okay, though, is being reckless about the path that you're taking. Or for even merely a step. The stakes are higher than ever now. I know it could be too much to take on, but there is <strong> no one </strong> in the world I believe could handle this more than you."</p><p>The truth is, without her magic, Vera would be disposable to The Order, and that was a scary thought, but it was the cruel reality of the world we lived in. And so, whatever the next move was, it had better be an amazing one; being promoted as Temple Magus probably wasn't that.</p><p>"If I remain Grand Magus, I need somebody on my side. To stand beside me no matter what." She muttered, her voice filled with so much exhaustion and desperation.</p><p>I appreciated what she was trying to say. She and I- us. Together. Nevertheless, I would rather be smart than sentimental during these times for her sake. </p><p>I crouched down to level with her and leaned my forehead against hers. "Here's what I believe you need to do. Think. More importantly, rest. Whatever position you need me to fill, I will. Reassure me that you're doing this without anything else other than logic that's influencing your decisions, and we're good."</p><p>"Okay." Vera closed, appearing as if she was about to cry, but she didn't. She's already cried enough by her standards. At that moment, she was already playing her role as Grand Magus, and she was nothing else but that because she had to be.</p><p>I pressed my mouth to her cheek, lingering as long as I could. "Okay."</p><p> </p><p>As I was about to exit her office thinking of the fact that I needed to have an urgent talk with the others, I was grudgingly reminded of something. <em> Randall</em>. I turned around reluctantly to face a drinking Vera, confusion apparent on her expression. </p><p>"Grand Magus." It wouldn't have felt right if I called her by her name at that point. It wouldn't have been appropriate, because it would have felt personal rather than something I was admitting as someone who is her loyal subject. "I do- I don't know exactly how to say this to you, but Randall-- to get Lilith back-- had to... sacrifice a member of this Order."</p><p>"Although I already have a bad feeling about the answer, <em> who </em> was it?"</p><p>"Kepler." That alone knocked all the air out from Vera. Her hands trembling, she almost dropped the drink she was holding. Afraid of her answer, I almost didn't ask her, but I had to know. "What are you planning to do about... <em> this</em>, Grand Magus?"</p><p>"I haven't quite reached a conclusion yet." Her response was prompt yet monotonous as if purely driven by her reflexes. She bobbed her head repeatedly, searching for the words to say. "Why did you tell me this?"</p><p>"Because you were going to promote, first of all. I want you to reflect on your plans with me and have all the facts. I never want you to be caught off guard, especially not now." I paused to reconsider my words before finally getting them out there. It was one thing, to be honest with the lens of her being my superior, but it was another thing to speak as truthfully as a significant other. "And we're in this together as you've said. We have made the biggest leap with whatever this is between us, and I don't want the first thing I do is to lie or to fuck this all up."</p><p>If I was going to tell all, I might as well <em>do</em> that. "Also, I acknowledge that this is completely unfair, but Randall <em>is </em>family. I need to know what happens to him so that I could buy some time to keep him-- or all of us-- safe if ever necessary."</p><p>"Are we-" I swallowed. "Are we okay, Vera?"</p><p>She nodded tersely and instantaneously. "I just need to think. Or strategize, whichever."</p><p>About to magic the door close, Vera cried out from behind me. "Hamish- wait, come back." As she approached me, her left hand pushed the door back to close it, trapping me between her and the door. Then, she surged to kiss me, our foreheads crashing, yet neither of us cared. "We're okay."</p><p> </p><p>"What, dude, you told her?" Randall exclaimed. </p><p>"I had to. We're-"</p><p>"What- in a relationship? Am I supposed to congratulate you? Or act surprised? Dude, I get that you're probably still used to being the leader in here, but guess what? You haven't been acting that way since we got into The Order. Isn't that right, Gabrielle?"</p><p>Gabrielle, who was gazing blankly at the floor, sneered. "Uh, seriously?"</p><p>"What, you're now a Knight. Your opinion matters."</p><p>"Fine. Sure. Whatever." She rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Vera's thinking about promoting me." I startled the pair.</p><p>"To what? What's even next to a Magistratus anywa- Oh. WOW."</p><p>"And Vera's still going to do that after you admitted that to her? Wow, indeed." Gabrielle seemed impressed, even clapping her hands towards me.</p><p>"The thing is, I'm not sure about that yet. She said she would think about it."</p><p>"And in the meantime, we what? Wait? Hamburger-Meister, if you haven't yet figured it out, The Knights are in deep shit right now. Lilith is a demon-- we don't know that for a fact just yet. Jack is out god knows where to "bury" Alyssa whom Midnight killed." he stopped to look apologetically at Gabrielle who was striving to look unbothered.</p><p>"I-" his voice turned into a whisper-shout kind of mix, "killed an important member of The Order-- I know I'm self-aware, you should give me props for that. And you- well, you aren't going through so much except for your relationship issues."</p><p>"I did almost die."</p><p>"That was a few months ago," Gabrielle argued.</p><p>"Right, we've all almost died." Randall seconded her sentiments. I gave him a nasty look.</p><p>"You don't understand, though. For you, everything might have changed, but there's still something that will never be replaced for me. And that's you guys."</p><p>"Just to clarify, I am now part of that, right?" Gabrielle cut in-</p><p>"Fine. Sure. Whatever." I echoed.</p><p>-While Randall got back to the topic at hand, looking at me expectantly. "Meaning?"</p><p>"I will do whatever it takes to keep every one of you safe. You and you," I pointed to the two. "Jack and Lilith- where is Lilith?"</p><p>"Nicole's supposedly putting her under observation or whatever." He quickly brushed me off. "And what exactly are you getting at?"</p><p>I huffed. "If I have to, I will leave The Order, do <strong> whatever  </strong>it takes- fight even."</p><p>"And what are you going to tell Vera?"</p><p>"She already knows." And there was no doubt about it. No words were needed. The lengths I would go to for all of them, it was something so obvious. If only I knew how she would react. I could only hope for the best.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>just re-edited (and then did that one more time) coz I noticed something lacking at the beginning of the fic, so sorry about that. </p><p>this fic is still kinda experimental, but fortunately, I can tell yall that I now have many more ideas about where this is going. so buckle up- nah, jk. My updates, I'm not gonna promise anything, they're still probably going to be ideally not as fast but that's bc I have other things I'm working so I hope you can be patient with me. Hope you enjoyed. Tell me ur thoughts down below if u want to.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. scared that it's too easy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hamish gets the promotion and confronts an overly optimistic Vera.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "I Confess My Love" by Keiynan Lonsdale</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> I guess I hoped for the best too hard that nothing that was happening seemed remotely real nor realistic. </em>
</p>
<p>It's impossible not to think so when all of a sudden things went from thinking of ways to stop The Order from killing all of us to being in a party to celebrate an (<em>undeserved </em>) promotion. It made me extremely uncomfortable; the raising of glasses, the smiles? An alternate dimension would explain this peculiar event. </p>
<p>To say the least, this was not what I anticipated would happen. Frankly, I didn't know what I should have expected, but <em>this </em>was not one of my many predictions.</p>
<p>"Dude, maybe you wished too hard?" Randall nudged my side with his elbow to which I responded to with a quick shake of my head. I had no words for this night.</p>
<p>"Or Vera could be planning something big." Gabrielle raised an eyebrow in suggestion and resumed drinking the celebratory champagne.</p>
<p>"What kind of big do you think that is?" He whipped his head around to face her. "The bad kind or the good kind?"</p>
<p>I squinted my eyes at him. "You do realize how weird that sentence was, right?"</p>
<p>"<strong>Whatever</strong>. So? What do you guys think?" </p>
<p>"You're asking me too? Hamish should tell us. He probably <em>knows</em> her better." She smirked. <em>Yes</em>, she was right. But that's probably exactly why I have no idea what she's trying to achieve.</p>
<p>"Hey, guys." Nicole popped from nowhere.</p>
<p>"Nicole! Um- um what's up? Where's Lilith?" Randall needed to work on his acting skills because his version of "<em>act normal</em>" was about as normal as... something that's abnormal.</p>
<p>"About that."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What do you mean she's missing? Dude, I told you, we're fucked! And we're down two people since one is acting weird in a <em>demonic </em>kind of way while the other is still out there "burying" his dead ex-girlfriend for almost a week!"</p>
<p>"Okay, Randall, that's an exaggeration. It's only been two days!" I chided.</p>
<p>"Does accuracy really matter at this point?" was his retort.</p>
<p>A defeated sigh escaped my lips. "Let's deal with one problem at a time. Where's Lilith?" I turned to Nicole.</p>
<p>"She <em>was </em>missing. But I tracked her. I know where she is-"</p>
<p>"Please don't say she's back in the demon realm. Is she?" Randall interrupts.</p>
<p>"No, fortunately, she's still at her apartment after running away from mine. " She trailed off.</p>
<p>"So? I don't get it- what's the problem?"</p>
<p>"Probably... that she's-"</p>
<p>Randall cuts her off again. "Opening a portal to get back. Not again."<em> Again? </em>Well, that was a surprise.</p>
<p>"Yes, but I stopped her. She's currently tied-"</p>
<p>"You tied her up-"</p>
<p>"So what are you doing here?" I interjected.</p>
<p>"Getting back-up?"</p>
<p>"We'll go get her." Randall motioned to himself and Gabrielle. "You should probably stay and... <em> celebrate</em>."</p>
<p>"Sure, yeah. Call me if anything goes wrong." </p>
<p>Gabrielle spun around. "Too late for that."</p>
<p>"She's not wrong." I heard Randall from a distance agreeing.</p>
<p>Nicole congratulated me before she went to leave with the two.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Vera," I called out from behind her door. </p>
<p>"Come in." If Vera was upset yesterday, well, she definitely isn't anymore. There was something about her that exuded such <em>usual Vera vibes</em>. But I had no time to analyze that. As soon as I was inside the room, I was hurling my words at her.</p>
<p>"Vera, what's going on? When did you even make up your mind? And why didn't you tell me beforehand? Out of nowhere, you just called everyone to the Temple and gave an announcement with the champagne and food already prepared. I thought we had a deal. You need to-"</p>
<p>"Think about it, yes. And I already have. Thus the announcement and the celebration." If she had done something terrible, she wouldn't have been able to meet my gaze, but she did. She even <em>beamed. </em></p>
<p>I had to take a few seconds of a breather to pump the breaks on the overload of turmoil growing inside of me. "This is not an insult to your authority or your intellect, but why?" I paced the room.</p>
<p>"There's no need to worry about anything, that I can guarantee. And I mean that for all of you." Uneasiness crept into me more and more as she sat there as if we weren't all so fucked.</p>
<p>"How come you're so certain?" I whispered in fear that if I didn't keep it in, I might just scream.</p>
<p>"Remember what you told me three months ago? That we won't ever have to worry about each other?"</p>
<p>"So? I know I don't have to, but the situation- before is not the same as today. You're facing far greater danger than you ever have-"</p>
<p>"And why is that? Because of my magic?"</p>
<p>"Perhaps. Yes. I don't mean to belittle your strength, but you are literally vulnerable, and it seems like you're deliberately putting yourself face-to-face with danger. And for what?"</p>
<p>"Look, I don't mean to be contradictory, but we should not be worth risking your whole life for. If we have to, we could always run away, but Vera, this is a life-or-death situation!" She stood up after I finished my ranting and moved fast towards me.</p>
<p>"Hamish," she cupped my cheek. "Hamish, I have this all under control."</p>
<p>"How? What about the Council?" Vera averted her eyes away from mine. <em> Oh. </em></p>
<p>"What did you do?"</p>
<p>"I told them <em>something.  </em> A dozen of <em>somethings</em>.<em>"  </em>She revealed reluctantly.</p>
<p>"About Kepler?"</p>
<p>"Yes, I told them Praxis launched an attack and that they targetted Kepler for her position."</p>
<p>"And they believed you?" She simply smiled weakly in response. "I can't believe it."</p>
<p>"We have defeated the enemy. They had no reason to question me." As if that was enough justification to merely accept a serious claim. They were The Order-- for crying out loud and that was The Council. It was appalling how so easily they were fooled by one person. Granted, Vera was acting-Grand Magus, but still.</p>
<p>"And Randall?"</p>
<p>"What about Mr. Carpio?" A laugh escaped me, it sounded worried and freaked out.</p>
<p>"What about your magic?" </p>
<p>"There was nothing for me to tell."</p>
<p>I scoffed in disbelief. I knew Vera <em>was </em>powerful, but it was that right there that surpassed my limits. It was like she was invincible, and I was frightened of how deep her lows go when she does fall. I could only hope that she never has to. </p>
<p>She has done it this time. She has escaped the inescapable, yet something still bugged me. "This isn't a solution." The way I said them was monotonous, but it enunciated like a question. "Your plan... The real one, what is it?"</p>
<p>"I'm still looking into it."</p>
<p>"That's not an answer."</p>
<p>"Well, it's not one I can give just yet."</p>
<p>"And yet, you're already keeping it from me." I circle my arms around her, leaning my head to hers and burying myself in her hair. "Vera, you're scaring me."</p>
<p>"There's no reason to be. Trust me." </p>
<p>We'll just have to see about that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Do any of you want Alyssa back?</p>
<p>as u guys can see, I'm a very dialogue-heavy kind of gal so I hope you don't mind that I can't describe literally anything else other than emotions.</p>
<p>idk if this fic is a whole ass mess and if it is, I'm sorry. Gotta say tho, really enjoying this experiencing. It's so fun working on theories or coming up with the characters' reactions and dialogues. </p>
<p>also, my update sched is still a bit fucked but I am constantly trying to do so as quickly as I could. No guarantees on when the next one is gonna be but I'm sure it's this week.</p>
<p>As usual, hope yall enjoy and leave whatever u wanna leave.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. It’s getting late, I better take you home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>While Hamish performed his duties as Temple Magus, he receives a call from an unexpected caller.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "Should I Take You Home" by Bobby Oraza</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Being Temple Magus was <strong>boring</strong>. If my situation was any better, I would have been fine with how tedious everything was. But I was restless. All my friends were out there trying to find a solution to our many problems while I had to sit at Vera's former office to tend to mundane Temple duties. </p><p>And speaking of Vera and<em> solutions</em>, I still had no idea what she was up to. I'm not even certain if she hadn't carried out her plan yet. I don't know where she is, and that just added to my being anxious. It was killing me thinking about all the help I could give, but instead, all I got was either Vera's texts once in a while asking me how things were or, at this very moment, Randall's phone calls.</p><p>"How are the Temple Magus duties going?" I scoffed at his question. He knew very well how they were going. Even in adversities, Randall still dared to mock me about my new position. Typical.</p><p>"What's going on with Lilith?"</p><p>"Still passed out."</p><p>"What, it's been almost 24 hours." </p><p>"Nicole must have hit her pretty hard."</p><p>Nicole's gasp was audible. "Randall, I told you that I hit her with <em>powder</em>, not a whole freaking brick." </p><p>"Could you two stop arguing already? I'm trying to read here!" And of course, that was Gabrielle.</p><p>"Randall? Talk to me, buddy."</p><p>"Right, right. Hey, Hammerhead."</p><p>I huffed as a complaint to the nickname. "So what are you guys doing?"</p><p>"Nicole and Gabrielle are finding an incantation or potion that could help Lilith in whatever way while I'm basically standing guard."</p><p> "That's good. Tell me if you need me for anything. Good luck."</p><p>"Thanks, dude. You too. With surviving your job that is."</p><p>"Dick." And so I was back to my new, monotonous responsibilities. Until I heard my phone ringing. Reading the name of the caller, I thought as I had imagined because there was just no way he would call me first.</p><p>"Jack?" I directly asked as soon as I pressed the green button.</p><p>He was silent for a few seconds and his breathing was heavy."Hamish. Can you come pick me up?"</p><p>"Okay. Send me the address." Then he hung up.</p><p> </p><p>"Vera? I need to ask permission to go out." Thank goodness she wasn't away today.</p><p>"And where is out exactly?" She raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"Jack." This seemed to catch her attention instantly.</p><p>"Mr. Morton- he's finally contacted you?" I nodded.</p><p>"May I accompany you?" <em>Wait, what? </em></p><p>"What?" I sputtered out. "Um- you wanna leave the Temple? What about-"</p><p>"Just text everyone that they're relieved from their duties until further notice."</p><p>"Uh, okay." I nodded reluctantly.</p><p>"So, shall we?" </p><p> </p><p>The drive to where Jack's instructions lead us was quiet. Neither of us made the first move to speak. And really, there was no reason to. At some point, Vera took my hand and intertwined our fingers, and I was grateful. My distress was obvious, and it showed by her initiative to do something to help calm me down. If I was standing, I would have been pacing already. </p><p>"I'm guessing this is it?" The stop was made somewhere which could only be described as "middle of nowhere".</p><p>"Yeah." I quickly retracted the keys and stuffed them into my pocket and called out for Jack immediately.</p><p>"Hamish, over here!"</p><p>"Hey."</p><p>"Wait, you brought Vera along."</p><p>"I'm sorry she insisted."</p><p>"No, that's fine. Just surprised to see her at all, to be honest." He nodded at Vera's direction.</p><p>"Mr. Morton, how have you been?" She gave him a sympathetic smile but added no further to her question.</p><p>"Just peachy, Vera." Jack's sarcasm didn't hit quite the same as before, it was disconcerting.</p><p>"Should I make myself scarce? Give you two time to discuss?"</p><p>"Nah, it's fine. You can stay." I took that as his cue for me to talk.</p><p>"So, Jack, what have you been up to these past few days?"</p><p>"Well," Jack motions his head towards something behind his back, only to reveal a still unburied, still dead Alyssa.</p><p>"What the hell?"</p><p>"I know. I just- I don't know what to do."</p><p>"So you've been what? Staring at her corpse?" A bit harsh, but it was exactly how I intended to respond.</p><p>"When you put it like that, it definitely seems worse. Let's just think about this as me processing everything. I'm not sure I want her dead, but bringing back people to life, that's an obvious red flag, right?" He looked from me to Vera, who only tilted her head to the side. "Don't get me wrong- there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, but I'm shitting myself at the possibility that I'm bringing back something else that's not Alyssa or being too selfish that I might hurt her in the process."</p><p>"Okay. I get it. You need time, but this isn't any better. For either of you." And it really wasn't. Imagine having to look at your ex-girlfriend's rotting corpse, all these flies flying around the lifeless body. Add in the fact that you have to decide whether she lived again or stayed dead- that's just brutal.</p><p>Jack's eyes were now red with exhaustion, and what I suspected was a signal that he was close to crying. I motion for him to come towards me, and I embraced him. He didn't cry; he's probably done that for quite some days. But I knew he could use a hug right now.</p><p>"Now, now. I'm not gonna lie to you, Jack. This is never gonna be any easier. Believe me, I've experienced this before. And not metaphorically anymore." I chuckled softly after remembering our conversation almost a year ago. "But you know what I learned after Cassie? That despite how powerful you may feel as a Knight; as a wolf, at the end of the day, you're also- mostly just human. And being human means that death is inevitable, and most of the time irreversible. But believe me, no matter which choice you make, we've got your back, buddy."</p><p>After registering what I've said, I couldn't help but look at Vera and notice how uncomfortably familiar I was with this type of situation. It was hard not to be afraid about the likelihood that Vera's fate hinted at disasters when she wasn't willing to let me in at all.</p><p> </p><p>We were back at the Temple after Vera wanted me to drop her off to 'continue her work' when she praised me for what happened earlier. "That was wonderful how you dealt with Jack. I can now see why you were their leader."</p><p>With the desk right between us, I felt the fight in me getting stronger.</p><p>"What were you doing there, Vera? Honestly." That threw her off guard. "Was Alyssa part of your plan?"</p><p>"Hamish, I told you-"</p><p>"Yes, I know what you've told me, but forgive me, I'm more concerned about what you haven't and why you haven't." My breathing was erratic, and my temper gradually plummeting. "Seeing Jack so distraught- it was like Cassie all over again. And I know it's selfish to think about myself when my friend was grieving right in front of me, but you were also right there for god knows what reason. And this secrecy is making me feel like I'm about to grieve someone that I- I care about <em>so much. All over again. </em>"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Yes, what?"</p><p>"Alyssa was an option."</p><p>"What- were you going to rip her heart out?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"And that's why you came along?"</p><p>"Mostly, yes." I waited for her to go on. "I wanted to see Mr. Morton."</p><p>I bobbed my head up and down, eventually catching up to speed with what her motives really were today. "To gauge his reaction, and if it satisfied you, you thought it would make your decision easier?"</p><p>"It's like you know me better than I do myself." She laughed hesitantly.</p><p>"Vera, come here." I went closer to her and circled my arms around her.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Why? Because I understand. All I need is the certainty that you're going to be safe. I'm not gonna judge you for killing someone already dead. Especially not for killing. In fact, I'm not gonna judge; period. I'm no saint, Vera. And I'm not about to start acting like one, so please don't be afraid of me."</p><p>Once everything was (<em>kind of)  </em> resolved, Vera excused herself to resume her obligations. Obligations which she still hadn't told me, but I figured that for now, I was going to assume she's not gonna be able to get herself in danger's way, so I decided to call it a day. I did. I <em>really</em> did. But something caught my eye and- "Oh, <em>fuck </em>."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>cliffhanger ep, sorry. will update real soon tho. like later or tomorrow whichever works best.</p><p>so what do u guys think? tell me if u want to. &lt;3 I really appreciate the comments you leave me. </p><p>also, on an unrelated note, what do u guys think about Vera becoming Alpha? I swear this is not a spoiler!!! I just wanna know everyone's opinions on the theory.</p><p>hope u guys enjoyed!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. watch me as I disappear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Vera's plan is revealed and Hamish encounters an unknown danger.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from thin white lies by 5sos</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You can't be serious! This was THE plan?" I gripped the copies she made of the summoning incantation I found peeking out of one of her drawers. "Get murdered by a demon?" A bitter laugh escaped my lips.</p><p>Her expression held so much disbelief and defensiveness. "That is such hyperbole, and you know it. You're thinking of worst-case scenarios when you could give me the benefit of the doubt! I am not some helpless, naive acolyte performing her first unsanctioned magic."</p><p>"No, but you are desperate, and about to summon a fucking demon without magic and hell, I can't even tell which one is worse anymore. And let me point out the fact that you did not even think to consider sharing this with me!" My voice became more agitated.</p><p>"Because this is MY decision to make. Not yours or anybody else's." She spat at me, her hands clutching the desk that was separating us, and her head leaned towards mine as if to challenge me.</p><p>"I get your point -- I really do -- but when something goes wrong, how do you think that's gonna affect us? Me? You are not the only one in this relationship. Whatever bad shit happens to you affects me. I opened up to you not just an hour passed, and you stood there and said the same old bullshit that everything was going to be fine! How could you just do that?"</p><p>"Nothing bad is going to happen! It's like you don't even know me!" Her attempts to reassure me were not effective. Not right now.</p><p>"Vera, I do know you. I know how capable you are, trust me, I see that. But you are not invincible!"</p><p>"I know I'm not. I never claimed to be. What I am, though, is obligated and in danger of losing everything I've worked hard for. And if the benefit outweighs the risk, don't you think it's a shot worth taking?"</p><p>"STOP thinking like a leader right now! Think like a person who's going to die if this ends badly."</p><p>"But I am who I am, Hamish. It's not like I can escape my responsibilities just because I'm afraid."<em> I hate it when she's absolutely right. </em></p><p>"That... that is true."<em> Unfortunately </em>.</p><p>"Listen-" At the worst possible timing, my phone rang.</p><p>"Let me get this." I lifted my head and sighed in frustration. "Hamish Duke."</p><p>Before the caller could even utter a word, I heard shouting and chaos in the background. "I know who the fuck you are. Hamish, get your ass in here!" was Jack's panicked greeting.</p><p>"Why? What's going on?"</p><p>"Lilith is a fucking demon!"<em> So she's awake.  </em>Finally.</p><p>"I hate to sound like an asshole, but could you please elaborate?"</p><p>"Dude! She's throwing sunbeams or whatever the fuck this hot shit is in front of us, and she's asking for you!" More yelling was audible and now, I was even able to hear something that resembled fire lashing out. </p><p>"Uh-"</p><p>"If you fucking ask another question, I swear I'm going to-"</p><p>"Fine. I'll be there. Tell <em>her</em> I'll be there. And don't you dare let her burn anything from my bar!"</p><p> </p><p>I turn back to face Vera who was carelessly drinking her sorrows away. "I have to go." </p><p>I grabbed the drink she was holding. Slowly, I placed it on the desk in front of us, and I caught both her hands. Against my lips was where I ended up settling our intertwined fingers. "But I can't just leave after all that. I don't want to- I can't. So, we will talk later with much calmer nerves, and we compromise, understand each other properly. Okay?" I stopped to lean in towards her. It was cautiously acted, the uncertainty of my movements palpable. Sensing my unsure reaction, Vera reciprocated, closing the distance and kissing me. And I just didn't want to stop.</p><p>"I don't wanna lose you,<em> lose this </em>," I admitted and then proceeded to kiss her more deeply, more fervently as if I needed it. Perhaps I did. </p><p>"I l-" <em>Shit.</em> "I'll see you later."</p><p> </p><p>As I approached the den, Randall's defiance was immediately perceptible. "Lilith! Stop, please! I'm not ready to get a tan! Or worse, a sunburn."</p><p>"Randall, fucking seriously? Now is not the time to be joking!" Gabrielle chided.</p><p>"Gabrielle, it's ten jokes too late." Nicole's exasperated sigh was what welcomed me.</p><p>"Are you guys serious? Three werelocks and one practitioner, and yet you still can't handle Lilith. I'm so proud of you, Lil." I sneak a proud grin at her.</p><p>"Hamish!" Randall held out his hands in his excitement of my arrival. "I keep telling you, it's warwolves."</p><p>"That's fucking rude. How about you beat her yourself, dickwad?" Gabrielle, charming as always.</p><p>"Gladly. Distract her for me, will you?" The four of them stood on each side of Lilith, confusing her enough to distract her. That enough gave me time to grab the knife I kept in my pocket and slit my palm. Placing both my hands on her forehead, I recite the spell of my choice: "<em>Tum somnum</em>."</p><p>That was all it took to knock Lilith out instantaneously. </p><p>Gabrielle scoffed. "A sleep spell, seriously?"</p><p>"Honestly, I'm kind of impressed." Nicole shrugged which earned her an appreciative smile from me.</p><p>"What can I say, I have a great teacher." I boast with a smug smirk.</p><p>"Ugh, dude." Randall shot me a look of disgust.</p><p>"That's gross, Hamish." Jack simply shook his head.</p><p>Everything seemed to have gone in our favor when eventually at an abnormal speed, Lilith stood up, imitated my earlier actions -- covered my head with her hands, and everything faded to black, my body fell to the ground. "<em>Shit</em>."</p><p>The moment I opened my eyes it was as if I was teleported someplace else. Someplace I've never been before. I was for sure inside a house. Inside a dark corridor to be more specific with plenty of items (a crib, a couple of toys, children's clothes) a cluttered mess. There was an emptiness to be heard except for the droplets of water hitting the sink. Until- <em> crying. </em>Somebody was crying, and it sounded like- </p><p>"Vera," I whispered to no one in particular. And then she was right there in front of me. Her eyes were directed at me, but she was unaware of my presence. The more I examined her, the more I noticed how this must be her when she was<em> sixteen.</em> Oh, no. <em>Oh, no, no, no, no, no. </em></p><p>"Lilith.<strong> LIL</strong>!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Get me out of here!"</p><p>It was a cruel, fucked-up position I was in being forced to watch as the girl sobbed even harder. "If this is your idea of torture, then this is messed up!"</p><p>Witnessing Vera stumble and clutch her heart in pain was the most horrifying sight. It was too much. I didn't want this. I didn't want to invade her past. The secrets that she's chosen to reveal might have been extremely lacking and gravely understated her struggles, but they were enough. They were the only ones I deserved to know. "Lilith, I'm serious!" And still, my terror was rewarded with nada.</p><p>"<em>Where the hell am I</em>?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This fic is almost done!!! How are yall feeling? Me? Real good. </p><p>I'm super stoked about your guys' constant support and I just wanna thank you all! This one is dedicated to all of you. Hope it's not a blah kind of chapter.</p><p>Tell me what u think down below. Things such as where Hamish is ;) and such or just reactions. Whichever is fine.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. ‘til you’re here beside me, ‘til I’m touching you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Vera does what she has to do.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "I Will Wait For You" by Nicki Parrott.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> Vera </strong>
</p><p>It was upsetting how chaotic the fight we had was. Coming up with the right words was difficult. I admit that there were things he had correct, but I still found it to be gravely unfair that I was being compared to a dead girl. I understood his fears. I empathized with him, but I still had the life I had. I had things I had to put first before myself, and it was disappointing that I expected him to understand when he didn't. </p><p>But he told me later, so once that comes, we're gonna be able to sort this out. He was such a kind, patient person. Most of the time, I was unsure why he still wants<em> this.  </em>But he does and so do I. And although there might be things I was never ready to admit, he makes me feel like everything is possible and I'm not gonna lose that.</p><p>A ring interrupted my daydream. <em>Jack Morton?  </em>"Mr. Morton, this is a surprise."</p><p>"Vera, there has been a situation."</p><p>"A situation?"</p><p> </p><p>The very first thing I noticed was Hamish's limp and unconscious body, and there was nothing else that I could say other than, "What happened here?" </p><p>"Well, Lilith was acting up, and at first we thought Hamish succeeded at taking her down, but then she attacked him. And then..." Ms. Carpio trailed off. <em>And then indeed. </em></p><p>"What kind of attack?" I had to ask, investigate in some way. I had to know something that had any use to figure this out.</p><p>"She touched his forehead?" Ms. Birch brought up.</p><p>Mr. Carpio scrunched his nose at that. "Was that supposed to mean something?"</p><p>"Probably."</p><p>Ms. Dupres interjected. "-not. Probably not. We don't know what Lilith is capable anymore, we have no idea what her limits are. For all we know, she only did that to mock us- mock Hamish for doing the same to her."</p><p>"And after the attack?"</p><p>"They just passed out." The reply caused me to look back at the unwanted truth lying by my feet.</p><p>I inspected his body for something- <em>anything</em>, but instead, "He doesn't have a heartbeat." It was that reality that turned everything into a blur. A blur of words, voices. My eyes were blinking uncontrollably, my heart was pounding. But there was no good in feeling, so I resorted to what I always do: think.</p><p>"Yeah, we checked earlier." Mr. Carpio responded with regret.<em> What could I do? </em></p><p>"Any idea, Magus?" Ms. Birch asked with hope in her eyes. Hope that I could not bear to look at it because there was nothing but disappointment that I could offer.</p><p>"So they're just dead? Just like that?" Mr. Carpio yet again sputtered out.<em> Dead.  </em>The word had been said to me today more than once and still, this was the only time that had me losing my breath. His hand I touched with urgency, my fear much more ignited. It was cold and that alone almost had me lashing out, because he was, to me, the epitome of warmth. The loss of that- it didn’t feel right. </p><p><em>There must be something</em>. That’s what I keep wishing for.</p><p>"That can't be possible." Ms. Dupres stated defiantly. Her confidence easily snapped me out of my trance, but barely. And it seemed like I wasn’t the only intrigued by her notion.</p><p>"Gabrielle, do you have any suggestions?" Mr. Morton furrowed his eyebrows in her direction.</p><p>"Not really. I'm just saying, no one just dies like that." She was right and yet that still lead me to nothing.</p><p>"You sure your memory’s fine? You're in The Order. Magic exists. Anything can happen." Mr. Carpio fired back.</p><p>"Thanks, Captain Obvious. What I meant was motive. What could Lilith have planned?"</p><p>"Yeah, 'cause that's so<em> helpful </em>."</p><p>"No. I see what she means. She's basically just saying that this is no way a sign that we give up." Mr. Morton nodded in understanding.</p><p>"That was pretty vague for something so simple."</p><p>"Right, I always forget how <em>simple </em>your brain works." Mr. Carpio rolled his eyes.</p><p>"So? What's the plan? Anyone? Don't be afraid to share, I won't bite."</p><p> And then that's when it hit me. <em>Plan.  </em>"I have to go... get something."</p><p>"Right now? Will it help?"</p><p>"Randall." Mr. Morton hit him over the head.</p><p>"Ow, what?" I heard Mr. Carpio reply as I turned my back to exit as fast as I could.</p><p>"Vera." Mr. Morton called out.</p><p>"You're plotting. Tell me what that is." He demanded as he caught up to my speed. "Come on, I'm willing to help in whatever way I could."</p><p>Out of nowhere, Ms. Dupres joined in. "Count me in. <em> We're  </em>willing to serve you, Grand Magus."</p><p>"No matter the risks?"</p><p>"Sure." They both shrugged.</p><p>"For Hamish and Lilith. Randall and Nicole will stay and observe them. They'll call us if anything happens." </p><p>"I call shotgun!"</p><p> </p><p>Ms. Dupres stared at the drawing on the floor. "Grand Magus, what exactly is going to happen here? 'Cause by the looks of that sigil, I think I already know."</p><p>"Then why did you ask?" I couldn't help but retort.</p><p>"<em>Rude </em>."</p><p>"What was that, Ms. Dupres?"</p><p>"Nothing, Magus." She feigned innocence. "Are we... summoning a demon?"</p><p>"Yes. Now before we go through with this, I need you to know everything about this demon-"</p><p>"<em>Tiltidor </em>?" Mr. Morton cut me off, the copies I made of the summoning ritual already in his hands.</p><p>"Thank you for reading ahead, Mr. Morton. Always the overachiever." I smiled <em>sweetly</em>.</p><p>"Vera, this is <em>dangerous </em>." Was his reply, ignoring my sarcasm.</p><p>Ms. Dupres was now alarmed. "Why?" </p><p>"This demon is known to be a double-crossing bastard. Sometimes he takes more than he's asked for or asks more than anyone can give."</p><p>"And you've learned all that in less than a minute, impressive. I knew you had potential."</p><p>"What you're saying is we could die?" Ms. Dupres reaffirmed.</p><p>"We could. Or you both may go. This is, fortunately, something that only requires my presence."</p><p>"You're continuing despite all that you could lose? Your humanity, your life, your soul?" Mr. Morton appeared to be worried. </p><p>"As you've said, I <em> could,  </em>but I also could not. I cannot do anything without my magic. And if I am to remain useless, I might as well die trying."</p><p>"What about Hamish?" <em>Don’t get distracted. Don’t get distracted. Control. </em></p><p>"What about him? He's lying on the ground as we speak with no pulse."</p><p>Ms. Dupres shook her head fiercely. "We're not going back. We're staying. I'm sorry, Grand Magus, but you did not just drag us here to tell us to leave. You could have done that before we got in your car, but it's too late for that now. Let's do it."</p><p>"But first, we need a plan." Mr. Morton… and Ms. Dupres agreed.</p><p>Mr. Morton started the discussion. "So, is there any way to protect us from this demon? Demon trap, protection spell, special bullets?” I threw a questioning look at his direction. “What? Might as well try everything seeing as just about anything is literally what we’re looking for.”</p><p>“Grand Magus, I think I might have a plan.”</p><p> </p><p>And so we had a plan. Whether it was going to work or not, certainty wasn’t guaranteed, but there was finally <em>something.  </em> We could be one step closer or a million miles farther from our goal by the end of this, but this was something. I had to try it all or lose it all.  <em> Everything. Hamish Duke. </em></p><p>I signaled the beginning of the summoning. "Tiltidor, we summon you to this earthly realm to grant but one demand. Tiltidor, arise from your dormant disposition and do as we require, and you will be rewarded with one gift of your choosing. Tiltidor, we call upon you!"</p><p>A creature with complexion closely resembling green appeared out of a blue portal. They were adorned with black and gold clothing and sunglasses that could only be described as <em>really hideous</em>. Following a quick examination of the room, they recited, “Ask of me what your one, true desire, but be prepared to give whatever I ask.” </p><p>The rest of us looked at each other in a mix of emotions, but mostly confusion and worry. “Great catchphrase, huh? Grand Magus! Wonderful surprise. It’s a pleasure to be able to <em>serve </em>you. I thought The Order was hell-bent on the ban on demon summoning. Color me intrigued. So what does your heart seek?”</p><p>The question, despite no intention to strike a chord, it distracted me from the plot. It’s not what. It’s <em>who</em>. “Fell asleep, sweetheart?”</p><p>Their voice snapped me out of my trance. “My magic. Retrieve it.”</p><p>“<em>Your magic? </em> What are you willing to give up?” A huge, taunting smirk appeared on the demon's face. I recognized what he was doing. In these types of agreements, it's best to be mindful of how and what is uttered.</p><p>“You have to do as I ask before I tell you what I’m willing to <strong>give </strong>.”</p><p>Annoyance flashed their face. “Fine. What is it? What are your conditions?”</p><p>“You must not harm Alyssa Drake upon retrieving my magic, and a confirmation that you have done your end of the deal before we can negotiate your prize.”</p><p>“That’s it? Sure thing.” They leaned into me before disappearing then reappearing in only a matter of seconds. “Here it is.” An overstretched hand reached to me, followed by a surge of something so strong.</p><p>As bargained, the demon let me have my moment of performing spells until they became impatient. “Having fun? Now, time for my gift.”</p><p>Unwillingly, I faced them. “What is it you want?”</p><p>The grin on him was huge. “Your dead boyfriend’s soul.”</p><p>Demons; so powerful yet so predictable. “No fucking way.” I imitated his earlier actions before yelling, “<em> Prodita est! </em>”</p><p>The incantation was powerful, but not enough to beat a demon, of course. It only made them stumble before they were back on their feet again.</p><p>“Now! Jack!” Mr. Morton who was transformed into his hide lunged against Tiltidor, hopeful that catching the demon off-guard might improve his chances. His hopes were not as useful as he wished they would be.</p><p>“You think you can defeat me? With a lone wolf?” The demon growled in anger. It appeared as if we were losing.</p><p>“Dammit.” In my peripheral, I was able to notice Ms. Dupres undressing.<em> That wasn't part of the plan.  </em>She was quite hesitant earlier about changing since, even when she was in denial, she was afraid of her newfound and uncontrollable strength. </p><p>“Ms. Dupres, what are you doing?” </p><p>“I just really love this top, okay!” Then she let her wolf out. The plan came true after all. They managed to trap the demon and then forced them to accept the gold that I offered in exchange for freedom.</p><p>"So, should we go back now? Was that all?" Mr. Morton questioned.</p><p>"I believe you're right." Time to see if I could prove Hamish wrong.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this might not be the update yall were waiting for but don't worry, Hamish's pov is coming back next chapter. </p><p>how are you guys feeling about the fic so far? since it's coming to an end, I wanted to create something kinda intense. I can't handle full-on intense because my imagination is limited.</p><p>hope u guys enjoyed! leave ur thoughts if u want to.</p><p>also, next update might be really soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. come to me now, don’t let me go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Where the hell is Hamish?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "Don't Let Me Go" by Cigarettes After Sex.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> "Where the hell am I? </em>
</p><p>One second, I was face-to-face with a sixteen-year-old Vera, and the next, everything just disappeared, and there was nothing but… the den? “Hello? Is anybody there?”</p><p>"Hey, Mish." <em>No</em>. This cannot be possible. There was only one person who made fun of me that way and the last time I checked, she was dead.</p><p>"Cassie?" <em>I was surely hallucinating. Wouldn't exactly be the first time. </em></p><p>"Got your call." She flashed me a smile I never in my life thought I would see again. It was sweet, playful; it was Cassie.</p><p>"This can't be real." The mere sight of her caused my heartbeat to quicken. The sound of it was amplifying to the point of everything seeming mute. Staring at her, it was as if feeling pain on a wound I thought healed a long time ago. This wound, despite the time that passed, was raw. There wasn't a band-aid to rip or scar tissue. Instead, there was still blood.</p><p>"Oh, it is. Have you heard of the Collective Unconscious?"</p><p>"<em>Oh." Regardless of how her presence brought about a swirling tornado of emotions in me, I couldn't believe I haven't caught on instantly. </em></p><p>"Getting sloppy, huh? Remind me again, was it really a good idea to get three degrees in Philosophy?" She joked.</p><p>"Can't let mom and dad boss me around. You're <em>really </em>here. And what call?"</p><p>"The necrophone?" A few things flashed through my mind, but there was a specific memory I wasn’t ready to face. So I chose not to.</p><p>"So was what I saw just a normal occurrence here?" She gawked at me questioningly. "I just invaded someone's memories. Even felt like I was there."</p><p>"Yeah, but you must have been thinking about her real hard to have done that." <em>Her? </em>  How did she- "Oh, Hamish. I know everything. I <em>see </em>everything."</p><p>I obviously needed to get my mind out of the gutter, and by the reaction she had, I was quite certain she understood where my brain went. "No, not like <em>that, </em>  you asshole. I would never do <em>that</em>. Gotta say, though. You definitely have a type. Brave, powerful, fiery, really confident."</p><p>I immediately lowered my gaze. "What? I'm not mad at you. You know that, right?"</p><p>"If you 'know everything' then why am I here?" I couldn't help it. No matter how long I've been wanting to have this, the realness of it all <em> (and the finality </em>) overwhelmed me.</p><p>"You could ask Lilith that. But since she said she's giving us time to talk for a while, the short answer is your dead."</p><p>"Dea-"</p><p>"Shh. Hamish. You have blatantly changed topics for at least three times already, and we haven't been talking for more than ten minutes. Let <em>me </em>talk to <em>you</em>. This may be the only chance we get for a long time." She attempted to take one of my hands, but I turned away. Seeing her was one thing, touching her? I needed to be able to convince myself that I was dreaming all of this.</p><p>"What do you want me to say?"</p><p>"What you want to say."</p><p>The mere thought of that caused tears to brim my eyes. With my back still facing her, I decided to do as she requested. "What, you want me to admit that when you died, I've never felt so lonely in my whole life? Or how angry I was that you weren't careful even after I reminded you to be? Or the fact that I had so much guilt that I never got to tell you that I loved you? I thought you already knew that."</p><p>I could hear her release a breath that resembled relief. "I love you too, Hamish Duke. There's not a single day that I wish I didn't die. You see, being in here is like the sweetest torture anyone could ever have. I watched you as you grieved me, and there wasn't anything more punishing than that. But then, you started accepting. You started moving on and the conflict inside me- I didn't know whether to be happy or sad that you were finally letting me go. I witnessed every single moment of weakness and joy. When you inducted Lilith and Jack? When you almost died? The moment you realized you were developing real feelings for Vera?"</p><p>"I'm sorry, Cassie." There was nowhere in me that regretted being with Vera, but I had to apologize because of the pain it must have caused her, witnessing our relationship unfold.</p><p>"Hamish, there's nothing to be sorry for. I've moved past any feelings of resentment or despair. In fact, I am so happy and proud of the choices you've made and the person you've become. You are right where you need to be, trust me." She placed a hand on my shoulder, willing me to meet her gaze. I wished I hadn't, because one look at her teary eyes intensified the feelings I tried to bottle up for a long time. Her hand moved to my face, cupping my cheek. "But to be able to move forward, you need to forgive me. And yourself. She might make questionable choices once in a while, but don't base your reaction on the past. Vera's not going to be another me.”</p><p>The instincts I subconsciously reserved for only her still kicked in. I was still a sucker when it comes to her. So I held her, and she did the same. There was this constant tugging in my heart, pleading me to stay or beg her to, but she was right. <em> As always.  </em> This was her, and this was us.  <em> Hamish and Cassie</em>. We were us, but now I must be me, and I must let her be; set her free.</p><p>And now that the unspoken yearnings have been said, I felt it deep inside me- I was <em>ready</em>.</p><p> </p><p>A cough separated us. "You guys, done?"</p><p>"Hey, Lil." Cassie wiped her tears.</p><p>Although I was still a sniffling mess, I didn't let that hinder me. "Lilith Bathory in the flesh. In a non-demonic way, I hope."</p><p>"Well, that's kind of complicated. And that's why I brought you here."</p><p>"Brought as in killed?"</p><p>"Exactly."</p><p>"That was you?"</p><p>"Uh, not exactly."</p><p>I huffed in confusion. "Okay, explain, please, or my questions will start having questions."</p><p>"When I was up there -- yes, up -- I was still the same the first few days <em>or </em>hours, I could never tell. But slowly, I started losing parts of myself. And every one that leaves my soul or brain, they're trapped here. Basically, I'm a whole in here because there's only a sliver of me left in that body. And I need you to get every part of me back."</p><p>"And how do I do that exactly?"</p><p>"Willpower, I'm assuming? I'm not really clear on the details. To be honest, this is just a theory."</p><p>I scoffed. "So, my success rate is based on nothing? You're having me do what is <em> possibly </em> impossible."</p><p>"I know. I took a huge leap bringing you, but I at least needed a chance to try. I don't want to be stuck here. Or worse."</p><p>I heard her loud and clear. I recalled what she saw in the fear corridor. "Why me?"</p><p>"Ugh, I knew that question was coming." She rolled her eyes at me. There was a brief pause and an annoyed glare before she opened her mouth. "Because... remember what you told me before? About living life? You were the only one who even had the chance to get through to me. You're our leader, and there's nothing that will change that. I know you'd never let me go. Not even to your expense, because that's what you do. That's the kind of leader you are."</p><p>"And you still believe that? After -- I'm assuming -- all the things you've seen me do? How Randall and Jack felt betrayed by me and lost their trust?"</p><p>"Hamish, you've always been this person. You were excited about Jack performing magic when it benefitted us even when it was just refilling beer. You were friendly to Alyssa Drake even when I thought I hated her guts. You let Vera help us defeat Edward Coventry without question (although I'm starting to believe that might have been for a different reason)." After that, she was clearly teasing, but examining closer, Lilith was smiling at me in a way I've never seen before. Firstly, it was an actual smile with teeth, and there was a tenderness to it that I never expected much of her. I had no choice but to believe her. "As you've said before, change can be good. You've never been afraid of it, so why start now?" </p><p>There was nothing that I could have responded at that moment that would match exactly how I felt inside. It was indeed a genuine moment we were sharing that Lilith just had to ruin it. "So was that enough coddling to convince you to help me?"</p><p>"I never need to be convinced when it comes to you, Lil." I gripped her shoulder in reassurance. </p><p>"I know. Cassie?" She glanced at Cassie as if asking for permission.</p><p>"I get it. It's time you guys go. Thank you so much, Lil. Have a safe trip, you two. Hamish, be wise, and remember what I said."</p><p>"This is now or never, huh?" Lilith breathed.</p><p>"What do I do?"</p><p>"Just focus on what you want. About not wanting to die. About me."</p><p>"Lilith, I will never let you go." I held her hand tightly.</p><p>"Hamish?" She gripped my hand. "Don't you fucking dare tell the others about what I said in here."</p><p>"No promises," I smirked. "See you on the other side."</p><p>It was as if the world was in slow motion. I closed my eyes and inhaled and exhaled.</p><p>
  <em> I will not fail. </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey! I told you guys I was updating soon. So what do you guys think?</p><p>Anyway, I just wanted to share that this Hamish/Cassie scene was inspired by that IG video promo about Hamish for s2. So if any of you haven't seen that, make sure to watch it ASAP. That video broke my heart.<br/>Also, I just had to add Cassie. She's mentioned here and there in the series, but for some reason, her storyline (or Hamish's) hasn't been explored by the show so here's my version of that. I just think that Cassie was a really big part of Hamish's life and after that video I was talking about above, I still believe that Hamish hasn't quite moved on yet. There definitely needs to be some closure there and the same goes for Vera and her daughter.</p><p>Also also, I really think Lilith and Hamish should have more one-on-one scenes. After that one scene they had in s1, I immediately thought they were a perfect combination. And honestly, they just had the chemistry to be that kind of really close friends,  ya know?</p><p>We are near to the end of this fic and I hope yall are still highly enthused or some shit like that. Just hope this hasn't regressed in quality or anything. </p><p>As for updates, I'm still uncertain about that but the last 2 chapters won't be too far away. Okay, hope you guys enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. who said it’s true, that the growing only happens on your own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Did Hamish and Lilith survive? If so, what happens next?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "Grow As We Go" by Ben Platt.</p><p> </p><p>I may anger some of you... maybe, just maybe.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up to the sight of three heads hovering above me: Randall’s, Gabrielle’s and Nicole’s. “Did I do it?”</p><p>They looked at each other with confused expressions. “Lilith?” I clarified.</p><p>Immediately, we all checked on her and were all disappointed upon seeing her still unconscious state. I went by her side as quickly as I could, touched her arm, and gently shook her. <em> She can’t be gone</em>.</p><p>“Hamish-“ Randall started.</p><p>“Just fucking with you, guys. You should’ve seen your faces!” Lilith guffawed as she opened her eyes.</p><p>“Lilith!" Jack complained.</p><p>“If only you saw it. Your eyes were closed.” Randall rolled his eyes at hers.</p><p>“Welcome back, Lilith.” Nicole quietly murmured, tears welling at her eyes.</p><p>The smug smile was instantly gone and was instead replaced by a softer expression. “Nicole, come here.” The two embraced. Nicole noticeably held her tighter and was audibly sniffling.</p><p>Suddenly, Vera, Jack, and Gabrielle barged towards the door.</p><p>As soon as Vera saw me, a heavy sigh escaped her lips. "Hello, beautiful." I greeted her, grinning, and arms wide. She ran towards me, even almost stumbling in desperation. I rewarded her by pressing a kiss to her cheek.</p><p>"Does this get any less weird?" I heard Lilith grimace.</p><p>Vera pulled away. "You just didn’t wanna be proven wrong, did you?"</p><p>I knew exactly what she meant. <em>We never needed to save each other.</em> “Surely you’ve met me?” I scoffed, feigning disbelief. “Ugh, I missed you so much.”</p><p>“And everyone else of course.” I quickly added. They all looked unconvinced.</p><p>“So…?” Randall trailed off.</p><p>“Right. I have a suggestion to make.” Everyone in the room nodded, but I singled out Gabrielle. “Gabrielle, I think it’s time we officially inducted you as part of the Knights. What do you think?”</p><p>Her first reaction was surprise which quickly morphed into confusion which she quickly masked with indifference. She looked at Vera as if asking for permission which was only met with a shrug. “Sure.”</p><p>“Alright. Let’s go.” I rubbed my hands in excitement.</p><p>“Wait, don’t we have to prepare… or something?” Gabrielle interrupted.</p><p>“Uh,” I, again, scanned the room but mostly gauged the Knights’ reaction. “I guess that makes sense. My consciousness is still overwhelmed and reeks of trauma anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>Once everyone finished “preparing”, we all returned to the den and gathered around a determined-looking Gabrielle. “So? How is this going to happen? Do I have to perform anything?”</p><p>Lilith snorted. “Perform? What do you think this is? An audition to a variety show?”</p><p>“Now, Lilith, as much as I’ve been used to your hostility, there isn’t any need for that right now.”</p><p>“Our traditions are quick, and they’re fun compared to The Order’s.” Randall gloated.</p><p>“I’m taking offense to that.” Vera joked.</p><p>“Oh, take all you want, Magus.” Jack quipped back.</p><p> Randall got back to the topic at hand, staring directly at Gabrielle, his excitement clear as day. “Well, you just recite the words: I give my life to the cause.”</p><p> “That’s it?”</p><p>“Oh, then we drink, of course.”</p><p>“That was actually really anti-climactic.” Nicole pointed out.</p><p>"I guess I can see that now, but it's Knights' tradition." Lilith defended.</p><p> </p><p>And like in every Knights' tradition, I found myself in my makeshift bar brewing our usual celebratory drink. “I guess congratulations are in order, Ms. Dupres. You’ve done quite well for an acolyte.” Vera tells Gabrielle as she approached us.</p><p>“Thank you, Grand Magus." Gabrielle was genuinely grateful.</p><p> Vera looked at me as if signaling our early departure. I would have gladly left with her right then and there, but I had some words the newly-inducted Knight. “You go ahead, I have to make a special cocktail to honor the newest member.”</p><p>”Tell Mr. Morton to see me tomorrow.” And then she left.</p><p>The moment we were alone, I didn't waste a second. “Vera’s caught me to speed with everything that happened in the few hours that I’ve been gone. I have to say, that was <em> noble </em> of you.”</p><p>Gabrielle averted her eyes in discomfort. “You’re just saying that because I protected Vera.”</p><p>“No, not at all. I admire your strength. What’s happened in the past week- that was tough, but after the story Vera told me, it seems as if you’re already learning to become one with Midnight. That’s honestly the most impressive thing I know about you and I’ve been noticing a lot for the past three or four months. Especially after what... Midnight’s done. Also, out of anyone that I actively know today, especially in The Order, you’re possibly the best addition we could ever have. Probably why Vera is considering you to be her protégé.”</p><p>That caught her full attention. Her normally cold-as-ice expression melted into an innocent childlike wonder. “How do you know that?”</p><p>“If I tell you I just know these things, would you believe me?” She, of course, shook her head. “Fine, she told me. But don’t let it get to your head. You have so much potential, and you’re already quite powerful even when you've just started.”</p><p>“Thanks-“</p><p>“That’s why I’m promoting you to Medicum.”</p><p>The glee was apparent on her face. “<em>Finally</em>.”</p><p>“Full disclosure, I would much rather get you straight to Magistratus. But since my being Temple Magus is already suspicious, the first big decision I make must be calculated and carefully thought out. Nevertheless, congratulations, Gabrielle.”</p><p>“Thank you, Temple Magus.”</p><p>“Thank <em>you</em>. You’re the first one to call me that and mean it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Turns out we all have weird tastes.” Randall laughed.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve hit the jackpot.” I boasted. I knew they wouldn't like that.</p><p>“Ugh, Hamish, you really need to stop.” Jack groaned.</p><p>“Is he always like this?” Lilith questioned, her glare burning my skin. At that point, I wasn't sure anymore whether that was literal or not.</p><p>“Not verbally. His face says enough, though.” Jack stated and Randall widened his eyes in agreement.</p><p>“You’ve lost all my respect.” Lilith sighed in disappointment.</p><p>“As if you aren’t the same with Nicole.” Randall teased.</p><p>“Now, hold on. To be fair, Nicole is Nicole. Vera? She’s Vera, alright.” Lilith attempted to rescue herself.</p><p>“You literally just said their name twice.” I cited.</p><p>“Makes sense though.” Jack shrugged. And they all burst into laughter. It was a long time ago when everything felt this simple. It's relieving to know that we haven't lost this yet despite all that has changed. And we might never have to.</p><p>Everything was silent after that. But I remembered something. “Anyway, feeling any more <em>demonic</em>, Lil?”</p><p>“Well, since I actually am one now…” Her smile was unsure. “But to answer your question, I feel like myself. Maybe a bit terrified because I don’t know what happens next for me exactly. I mean, how many demon-werewolf hybrids have you heard of?”</p><p>"I know. Makes you even cooler. Werewolf, practitioner, <em>and</em> demon? Not fair." Randall tried to lighten the mood as he always does.</p><p>“Come what may, you’re not leaving our side.” She appreciated that.</p><p>“I agree. We won’t let that happen. Never again.” Jack promised.</p><p>“Jack-”</p><p>“No, no. That was unfair of me. I’m okay.” He excused.</p><p>“You sure about that?”</p><p>“I will be.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> Vera </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Mr. Morton. I’m glad you came. Take a seat.” I motioned to the seat. “I asked for you today to speak about Ms. Drake. Have you come to a decision?”</p><p>“Why are you doing this? After all that she’s done? To you especially? Aren’t you happy you got rid of her?” His face contorted with a flurry of emotions.</p><p>“Well, I can’t lie and say that I’m not, but still, I am hugely to blame for her actions. A lot of it might have been caused by her own… emotional and mental insecurities, I still drove her to the brink.”</p><p>“You’ve always been unsympathetic towards her, why was that?” He demanded.</p><p>“Oh, quite the contrary truly. I’m empathetic towards Ms. Drake. She reminds me of who I was when I was an acolyte. Like her, I made The Order my whole life. No friends, no relationships- I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. But where she was naïve, I was wary and overly cautious. After all, I was just a scholar who had her whole life ripped away from her when she was 16. And so I had to fight harder to even have a chance. You know how I achieved the title of Temple Magus at such an early age? I stopped caring and feeling; it was like giving away my humanity.”</p><p>“Now though, I’m starting to unfold the complete image of the bigger picture. When I said I wanted to create a better Order, I meant that. I don’t know what changed or if anything did at all, but the things I thought I wanted weren’t as rewarding now that I have them. Unfortunately, bad habits are hard to break and I allowed myself to sacrifice Ms. Drake for what I thought was the betterment of everything else. I thought I was giving her an exit while she still could, but now I realize that was a misjudgment. If you let me, I’d like to give her the chance she wished I had given her.”</p><p>“Let’s do it.” And so we did.</p><p>The ritual we did was quite straightforward. I recite the incantation, sacrifice a goat in Miss Drake's place, and then she wakes up... For at least five minutes. It was sort of a loophole, really. Anyone could do it, the only downside was that it only works once, and no one can prolong its effect. So it was more trouble than its worth because for starters, blood sacrifices, but also, in desperation can one really stand having only five minutes?</p><p>But that wasn't the plan. It was instrumental in succeeding, but we -- Mr. Morton especially -- wasn't just here for closure. </p><p>Once Ms. Drake rose, coughing viciously into her hand and confusion dominating her person, Mr. Morton laid out a hide right in front of her. I believe this one was called <em> Alpha.  </em>He asked for her permission, and after seeing her nodding profusely, he placed it on top of her shoulders, and we waited.</p><p>“Ms. Drake.”</p><p>“Vera.” Her expression was conflicted. </p><p>“<em>Welcome back.</em>”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>did I? anger any of you? I know, I know- I'm sorry. Out of all the plot twists that I went with, this was probably the most questionable. Even for me. To be clear, I don't like Alyssa. But I do think she deserves a chance to grow. And that's basically the main thing about this chapter: growth. Especially, in the last part, Vera's. But that's enough explanation. Take away whatever you'd like about this chapter.</p><p>Anyway, what did you guys think? this is the second to the last chapter in this fic, I hope it was good enough to lead to the final/epilogue. </p><p>Also, what do you guys think about a sequel? I already have both vague and really specific ideas. Unfortunately, your comments won't change my decision. I am still doing all this, coz I enjoy it so much, but still, I'd like to hear what you guys think about that. I really like interacting with u guys and it's always amazing reading and replying what u guys enjoy, expect, want from me and my fics.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. you were the right way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hamish and Vera finally get their later.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "You Are The Right One" by Sport</p><p> </p><p>reminder: this is the LAST CHAPTER!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So, is Alyssa back?” I asked as soon as Vera returned finishing his business with Jack. She nodded. “I’m proud of you for making such a hard choice.”</p><p>She stood by her doorway and remained silent, her stare on me so intense yet distracted. “So, you said later. Is later now?” The moment I nodded, she immediately placed herself on my lap after removing her heels.</p><p>The woman’s face that I stared up to at that moment was amazing. It still surprised me how changed she was in such short a time. She was clearly more comfortable in this relationship now. I could not help but feel giddy about the fact despite the conversation that was due.</p><p>I thought through what I had to admit and sighed to prepare myself from the things I was unloading. “I’ll start. I was unfair with you, I see that now. When I was in the Collective Unconscious, I saw Cassie and she made me realize so much about myself that I buried so deep. I was never quite over her or her death. It was easy to convince myself when I was pretending to live my life, but being face-to-face with her, actually being able to say goodbye, it opened up my eyes to reality. You are not going to be another Cassie, and expecting that of you even subconsciously, it wasn’t right. Because I’m here with you, and that should be the only reason why I am here, and it is.”</p><p>“With that said, I’m not saying that I’m not going to still be constantly afraid. In this world that we live in where everything is possible, the thought of losing you is one of the scariest possibility. I know I said we would never need to save each other or worry, but I don’t think I’m ever going to stop worrying. I don’t ever want to lose you.”</p><p>Her smile indicated understanding. “I also apologize. My plan, though it was successful, was reckless. And how I handled it with you, I’m sorry for driving you mad. But after some hours of replaying every word you’ve told me to calm myself when you were gone, I still think you’re wrong.”</p><p>“And why is that?” With my head still tilted upwards, I leaned into her, the warmness of our breaths mingling.</p><p>“Because I know for a fact that you have saved me.” The words have rendered me speechless. I was unable to act properly, and no words were formed, so I shook my head in confusion. “You made something dead feel something so real. And if that isn’t saving then I don’t know what is. You brought back the me in myself. You save me every single time you touch me- you look at me.”</p><p>I was about to cry. She was right, but not just about me saving her because she’s done the same for me. So much meaning in my life had been made the moment I realized that I was in love with this woman. And I had all the intention to confess it right then and there. “When something so good is right in front of me who am I to refuse? Vera, don’t be alarmed with what I’m about to tell you next. I love you.”</p><p>The reaction she had seemed like she was overwhelmed. I felt her heartbeat and breathing quicken. It was apparent she was contemplating her next move. Then she settled her head onto my shoulder, her mouth neared my ear, and whispered, “I love you too.”</p><p>If she had not said it back, I wouldn’t have cared. I would have waited. But hearing her direct those words to me, it caused me to release a breath I never noticed I was holding. I immediately grabbed her head and closed the distance between us, kissing her to make her feel just how great she makes me feel.</p><p>When we pulled away for air, I took a long time to just take in the woman right in front of me. She was amazing, beautiful, and she deserved the truth. There it was, the feeling that ate at me ever since I was forced to watch that specific scene in her past; guilt. I was trying to find the right time to tell her, but every time I thought I was ready, I was uneasy with what her attitude was going to be. “Vera?”</p><p>She raised her eyebrows at me. “About the Collective Unconscious, I’ve told you some things, but not everything.”</p><p>“Go on.” She stared at me with concern.</p><p>“Before seeing Cassie, I witnessed some things that I shouldn’t have.”</p><p>“Just say it, Hamish. You’re making me nervous.”</p><p>“Your daughter- I know you’ve told me some things about her-“</p><p>At the mention of her child, her whole persona instantly changed. This Vera was more vulnerable and more expressive. Her eyes were glassy and her voice barely audible. “Are you saying you saw her?”</p><p><em> Dammit</em>. I should have just said it outright. “No. But I think I might have peeked into one of your memories after she died. I’m sorry for not being straightforward.”</p><p>The disappointment was apparent in her expression. “It’s… fine.”</p><p>“Vera, I’m not trying to pressure you into telling me anything- in fact, you’re not obligated, and I don’t need to. Your past is yours. I’m only admitting this to you because I feel guilty. I didn’t deserve to see that without your permission, and although I acknowledge that I didn’t really have much choice, I still feel like I’ve done you some wrong in some way. Maybe if I didn’t think about you so much, I could have prevented that-“</p><p>Vera cut me off. “No, I understand. Like you’ve said, you were caught off guard. And I’d like to.”</p><p>“Like to what?”</p><p>“Share some more things with you. About my daughter.”</p><p>“Vera, I told you-“</p><p>“Yes, and now I’m telling you that I want to.” She exhaled deeply before continuing. “Hamish, I’d like you to see me as a person for who I really am. In this… <em> relationship </em>, the biggest insecurity I have is that what if it gets harder for you to recognize the line between me as Grand Magus and me as your partner. Because I am both and I want you to see the duality and be able to differentiate. And if I don’t bare myself to you, I’m afraid that one day that might just be the reason why I lose you given our history and even our present.”</p><p>“I already know what you’re about to tell me: I don’t need to. But I do. I trust you, sometimes even more than I do myself, but if I am unable to calm this distress in my head, this might end up in me pushing you away.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Her expression was evident in a mix of emotions. Her gaze was distant. “Bad choices… I made a lot of them when I was younger. Back when I thought I could conquer the world just because I wanted to, I thought I had it all figured out. I was your usual defiant, middle-classed teenager with controlling parents. I never obeyed, because they never gave me a good reason to. With every shout, curse, and sometimes <em>slap </em>they hurled at me, I retaliated by doing whatever the hell pleased me. I stole money from them, embarrassed them- I basically made myself out to be akin to the demon’s spawn in our neighborhood just for revenge. Then I got pregnant.”</p><p>Tears were starting to form in her eyes, but she didn't let that hinder her. “And unlike the rest of teenage pregnancies which were met with anxiety, I took it as a sign of hope. I had nothing, no one. I thought I had a chance to give that child what was deprived of me. I promised the growing being inside of me that I was going to better than the people who were forced to be my family. So I began looking for jobs, even stayed in school, and had better scores than I ever had. With the little salary that I received plus some of the money I saved from stealing, I managed to rent a small place I thought was my fresh start. My life at that point wasn’t any much easier, but it was the most life I’ve ever really lived. When she was finally born, I was knee-deep in debt from hospital bills, rent- but I kept going because she was the most beautiful creation my life has ever offered me. But I didn’t anticipate that something would go wrong.” </p><p>Before she went on, she let herself weep silently on my shoulder. The wetness was seeping through my shirt and her chest moved up and down. “She died of anaphylactic shock- I told you that, right?” She stated after lifting her head to look at me once again. “Well, if I wasn’t blind-sided I could have saved her. If I somehow managed to find some way to pay for a solution, I would have known, and maybe she would still be alive right now. But all that I had was hope and her, and they were both crushed by the harsh hands of reality. There was no amount of begging or pleading that could have reversed the events. She was dead, and it was years before I managed not to break down at the mere thought of her.”</p><p>I was unsure of what to say. I was unsure what she needed to hear from me, so I told her the only truth I could muster. “Vera, you’re the bravest person in the world.”</p><p>She scoffed laughingly. “Perhaps I am. Or maybe because I hadn’t allowed myself to feel ever since, it’s as if I was dead anyway. Until you, of course.”</p><p>For the longest time, we just sat there. Our arms circled each other. Vera sobered up from her earlier disposition, but still, I remained my fingers to run circles on her back. Every once in a while, we would alternate from me pressing kisses on her face to her giving ones to my chest. “Thank you for letting me in.”</p><p>“Thank you for making it so easy.”</p><p>There were a million things we needed to discuss <em> (Lilith, my position, Praxis, what happens next)</em>, but there was a time for that. Right now? Right now, there was just she and I inside the safety and darkness of her bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>END OF PART 1</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is the end! Of this fic at least. So, how do we all feel? </p><p>I would just like to express my appreciation to all of you who read, left Kudos, and comments- you have made this writing experience so much more fun! I hope I delivered and that I did that really well. </p><p>There might be a sequel so watch out for that, but no promises. If you still are interested in reading my other stuff, I already have 2 fics planned for my Vermish Fluff-fest. </p><p>Once again, thank you all and I hope you enjoyed the whole fic! Leave whatever you guys want to as usual and see you all around.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. another night, another day goes by</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What happened to Praxis?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from Raf's "Self-Control".</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong> Part 2: </strong>   <em> Don’t Put Your Weapon Down </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> An earthquake awakened the whole of Norwich at 3 am. I recalled Vera and I springing awake at the break of dawn. Her expression was mildly concerned at first, but after seeing mine, it morphed into trouble. </em>
</p><p><em> Because for me, and most plausibly the other Knights, it wasn’t the unexpected shaking of the ground that alarmed us. It was the </em> <strong> <em>ringing</em> </strong> <em>. And that left us with one conclusion: it wasn’t a natural phenomenon that occurred. Someone or some people were using magic. And they weren’t on our side, which made them a threat. </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Should we be worried, do you think?” I asked Vera as I hurriedly closed the door to her car. After the whole incident, she rushed to grab her phone and called and texted everyone to be at the Temple as soon as possible. Now, the two of us were nearing the door.</p><p>“Not yet. The first thing we need to do is perform a respondio. Set up the preparations.” As we barged in, we were greeted by our confused and sleepy-eyed subjects, and that included my friends'.</p><p>“At once, Grand Magus.” I nodded, and Vera was off to our office.</p><p>“Everyone prepare the altar. Get the necessary requirements for a respondio. We have to do this immediately.” I watched everyone as they nodded and walked towards the door or the altar. With the exception of Angus. He stood still in front of me, his eyes filled with challenge and defiance. Vera, who only exited the office, witnessed what the acolyte was attempting to do. </p><p>“Do as the Temple Magus ordered.” Her tone was an obvious warning.</p><p>Angus clenched his jaw. “I don’t consider him<strong> my</strong> Temple Magus. He doesn’t deserve to be a leader of this Order. He’s not worthy of being a part of us.”</p><p>“Are you challenging my authority, Mr. Carter?” I witnessed Vera's eyes glint with malice. I had to put an end to this.</p><p>“I can take it from here, Grand Magus.” I turned from Vera to Angus. “Now, <em>acolyte</em>, tell me how much it matters to you to be in this Order?”</p><p>“Are you trying to get rid of me?” He was appalled by the suggestion in my voice. </p><p>“Am I?” I retorted. “If this opportunity was so important to you, then why do you constantly choose to squander your chances? You’re dismissed.”</p><p>He let out a disgruntled chuckle. “From what?”</p><p>That was my chance to finally get rid of a constant annoyance. All I had to do was say the words, but it would not have been fair. His sentiments were something that I fully understand. His distrust and suspicions justified. So, taking away something he's worked hard for because of something that's out of his control felt wrong. But he needed to get with the program and the only way I could even have a chance to get to him is by being the kind of Temple Magus who gives chances.</p><p>“Temple duties. Indefinitely.” I voiced out my decision. “You can use the time away to rethink the actions you have committed and the consequences of disobeying the very rules of this Order. Silence, subservience, and observance.”</p><p>It was evident how surprised he was by my leniency due to his unmoving state. Vera snapped him out of it. “What are you waiting for, Mr. Carter? You may see yourself out.”</p><p> </p><p>Once the incantation was completed, Vera returned to her own obligations while I took the time to check in on The Knights along with Nicole. </p><p>Randall was the first to try to confirm what just happened. “Hey, guys. You heard the ringing, right? I wasn’t crazy?”</p><p>“Yeah. Alyssa heard it, too.” Jack seconded.</p><p>“Right. I forgot she’s alive now.” Gabrielle scoffed, which earned her a bewildered squint from him. "What? I might have felt guilty after being forced to commit murder, but I still don't trust her."</p><p>“Where is she?” I chimed in.</p><p>“She’s safe.”</p><p>“And by that, do you possibly mean, she’s not the one causing the ringing or the earthquake?” The two continued their banter.</p><p>“Exactly. If she left the bed, I would have known.”</p><p>“That’s kind of creepy,” Randall remarked with a grimace, and Gabrielle a knowing look.</p><p>From the three, I shifted my attention towards Lilith and Nicole who seemed to be having a private silent conversation. Nicole nodded her head, seemingly encouraging her to speak. “Did any of you smell smoke? Because I’ve been smelling it since yesterday.”</p><p>Her confession caused us all to look at each other in perplexity. “I guess... that was just the neighbors.” </p><p>Nicole replied with a whisper of: "I told you this wasn't a wolf thing." </p><p>No one else, but I heard it.</p><p>“Don’t you live in an apartment?” Gabrielle clarified.</p><p>“She’s right.” Randall wagged a finger in agreement.</p><p>“So, what do you guys think that was?” Lilith changed the topic. I continued to examine her; something was going on with her.</p><p>“I actually might have an idea,” Jack muttered under his breath to which Gabrielle responded to with a boastful smile.</p><p>“Oh. I already figured it out actually.” I locked eyes with Gabrielle in understanding. Our situation might not have been as complicated as I thought.</p><p>“Would you like to explain then, Gabrielle?” Jack deadpanned.</p><p>“Sure. You stole Alpha from Praxis (what’s left of them, anyway), and now they’re pissed.”</p><p>“You caught me.” He exclaimed sarcastically.</p><p>“You’re very predictable.”</p><p>“We have to warn Vera.” Jack surprised me with the request.</p><p>
  
</p><p>And that's exactly what we did.</p><p>Her reaction was unsurprised, and her response was brief. “Lure them here.”</p><p>“To the Temple? Why?” Nicole posed.</p><p>Gabrielle shrugged. “It’d be like an ambush.” </p><p>“Sure, but how would we do that?” Randall shook his head.</p><p>“Get Ms. Drake here.” </p><p>Jack's face contorted to worry. “Vera, are you actively trying to get her killed again?”</p><p>“Everyone will be relieved of their duties tomorrow if that’s what you’re worried about, Mr. Morton.” She glanced at me, making sure I got the message that that was my duty.</p><p>“Would Alyssa even agree to go here?” Randall was right.</p><p>“It is for the greater good. Make sure she comes tomorrow, Jack.” I inclined.</p><p>“And then?” Lilith impatiently encouraged Vera to continue.</p><p>“And then what?” </p><p>“What do we do with them?” Nicole's voice was uneasy.</p><p>“Deal with them. I don’t care how you do it, just do so and do it effectively. You can ask for Ms. Drake’s input about all this as long as she doesn’t start another apocalypse. And don’t give any of them a chance to try. I'll be in the reliquary the entire time, figuring out how they caused that earthquake.” She smiled at me. “I’ll see you later.”</p><p>“Those were a lot of words, but all I heard was ‘kill them’.” Randall had his notion.</p><p>“I don’t think Alyssa would like that.” </p><p>“But what other option do we have?” Lilith countered.</p><p>“We could talk to her. Vera did say we could.” Gabrielle reminded us.</p><p>
  
</p><p>It took us a few minutes to walk from the Temple to Jack's grandfather's house. He knocked three times. “Alyssa. We have company.”</p><p>“Why?” Her voice was muffled behind the door.</p><p>“There are some important matters we need to discuss,” I spoke calmly.</p><p>Alyssa cracked it ajar. “What is it?”</p><p>“I’d appreciate it if you let us in first.” Gabrielle pushed it fully agape. It received an appreciative smirk from Lilith who instantly claimed one of the couches. </p><p>“We need to talk about Praxis.” I began the conversation.</p><p>“Please- don’t kill them.” Alyssa was wide-eyed.</p><p>“We won’t if you help us figure out what to do.”</p><p>She was quiet for some time, but then she reached a resolution. “I need to be there. They won’t listen to a word you say, but they will listen to me.”</p><p>“There’s no doubt about that, but how do we know you won’t turn around and stab us in the back?” Gabrielle interjected.</p><p>“Really? She’s one person.” Jack fired back.</p><p>“Yes. One person who also happens to be a wolf, a very skilled practitioner, and the people we’re fighting are possible back-up to her when they arrive.”</p><p>“Don’t worry. I can handle her.” Lilith silenced the arguments. Then she proceeded to stare pointedly at Alyssa. “You better cooperate, or I might just test-drive my new skills on you.”</p><p>“What if they don’t listen to you?” Nicole's suggestion was valid.</p><p>“They will.” </p><p>“But if they don’t?” Gabrielle insisted.</p><p>“Then we do our worst-” I was cut off by Alyssa.</p><p>“I will take away all their magic.” That took us all aback.</p><p>“Sure you will.” Gabrielle was the only one who recovered from the shock. “Why would you do that?”</p><p>“It’s the only other option.” Her answer intensified our speechlessness.</p><p>Jack breathed out deeply. “So, are we all set?”</p><p>“I believe so. Let’s meet at the Temple tomorrow.”<em> Let's see how this goes. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey, guys! Welcome back! Here's the "sequel" which I decided to make "part 2" instead. Why I did that is because I feel like it actually works better and it's more convenient for me to just add chapters on this one. Also, I changed the title into the series title. </p><p>So, first chapter, how are we feeling so far? As usual, leave whatever you guys wanna leave!</p><p>Part 2 has already been pre-planned so I hope it turns out better than the first part did. &lt;3 for those who have been here since the beginning, thank you for being awesome! I hope you still enjoy this one as much, or maybe, even more than you did the first.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. our love in a coffin, if that's how you want it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The final fight with Praxis and the start of some new trouble.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from Avery Wilson's "Use 2"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Today was the day.</em> We were going to finally, truly rid the world of Praxis this time. And to do so, we had to be at the Temple at 5 o'clock in the morning. Well, not really, but being prepared didn't hurt.</p><p>“Why did we have to be here so early? Are we sure those Praxholes aren’t still eating breakfast?” Randall complained, followed by a very loud and slow yawn. Most of us were sat on the stools of the bar, some had their heads buried on their arms napping. </p><p>“Are we all good?” I scanned the entire room, not bothering to respond to Randall's quips. I made sure to include Alyssa, who was hiding behind the bar. My question was met with tired-looking and slouched bodies. </p><p>“What did you tell the others?” Nicole, who was the only one who seemed even slightly energetic from the bunch, asked all of a sudden.</p><p>“I just texted them that we were giving them time to recover from yesterday.”</p><p>“That’s actually kinda smart.” Gabrielle teased.</p><p>I feigned annoyance, shaking my head slightly at her. “You seem surprised. I feel offended.”</p><p>“So… are we just going to wait here or what?” Lilith, the ever impatient, chimed in.</p><p>“I mean, there’s really nothing else to do.” Jack shrugged.</p><p>“How are classes?” Randall, from his sleepy state, grinned at all of us.</p><p>“Seriously-” My reply was interrupted by the sound of the door being opened forcefully, and the ringing that came with it.</p><p>Randall groaned. “Did you guys need to barge in the second I started a conversation?”</p><p>“She’s here.” One of the Praxis members exclaimed. There were about ten or so of them. “Give us Alyssa.”</p><p>I stretched my arms and rubbed my eyes, hoping the exhaustion wore off quicker if I did so. I approached the flock and smiled at each of them. “Let’s have a chat first before we begin with the negotiations. Did you cause the earthquake yesterday?”</p><p>“Why would we do that? Endangering the entire neighborhood isn’t part of our plan.” She quickly caught herself, realizing the irony of the statement. “Not anymore.”</p><p>“But you did perform magic for something. What was it?” Jack made the mistake of opening his mouth. His presence only aggravated their current leader.</p><p>“Why should we answer to you? You’re nothing, but a bunch of selfish and privileged assholes who think they get to hoard something so special. Especially not to you, thief.”</p><p>“Whoops, I guess now’s the time to do our worst?” Lilith cheerfully suggested, slapping her hands together in excitement.</p><p>Alyssa, who once was beneath the bar table, ran in between the two sides. “Wait. Just give me a minute."</p><p>"Sure. As long as you remember the consequences of being stupid."</p><p>“Alyssa, what are you doing? We’ve come to set you free.” The one on the middle spoke.</p><p>“Guys, I know all of you. What we stood for, it was the greatest thing we’ve ever believed in our lives. But it’s time to move on.”</p><p>Almost every single member of Praxis wore the same expressions: worry and confusion. Except for one who let out a sardonic chuckle. “Did they brainwash you or something? This is coming from the woman who, not only a month ago, swore that she was ready to kill herself and everybody else just for the cause. You said that you were one of us. You said that Salvador’s actions wouldn’t be in vain-”</p><p>“What you said is exactly why this is so wrong. Praxis changed me. Anger changed me. I made decisions and sat with ones that I would never have felt comfortable with. I admire our drive and our passion to share what we have with the world without asking for anything. And I loved Salvador with every fiber in my being. I am grateful for the way she’s opened my eyes. But the thing is, we were willing to risk people’s lives to save them. Even our own members! And we weren’t even certain of succeeding! I would never have stood for that. I lost myself and only now did I start realizing that I did.”</p><p>“Everything from before was bullshit, then. That’s what I’m hearing. You know, I never really trusted you. You always gave off the naive, little miss rich princess vibes and I was right. No wonder you’re always feeling lost. You jump the track every opportunity you could. Guess it wasn’t so different with us. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to realize that one way is the right way. So what? You’re just back to being The Order’s bitch now?”</p><p>“No. I’m not... back with The Order.”</p><p>“But you wish to be, don’t you? God, this is pathetic. You are pathetic. I regret even trying to save you. Now you’ve left me with no other choice.”</p><p>“I hate to say the same to you.” I saw Alyssa close her eyes, a single tear escaping despite her attempts to prevent them from falling. I noticed her hand reaching for something in her pockets.</p><p>“Attack!” </p><p>“I’m sorry, Christie.” As each one moved closer towards her, she released the contents she carried in her closed fist in front of them. Then, she recited the incantation to take their magic away. And with that, we have witnessed Praxis's downfall.</p><p>Doing what he does best, Randall ruined a serious event by being himself. He crouched down on the bodies on the floor, waving a hand above their heads. Lilith did something similar, but with her foot <em>waving</em> towards their shoulders.</p><p>"You are <em> still </em> quick with that stuff." Lilith masked her awe with nonchalance.</p><p>"Where'd you get the pulvis memoriae?" I squinted my eyes at Alyssa, who directed her gaze at Lilith and Nicole's direction.</p><p>"Why the hell are you staring at me?"</p><p>"She's not. She's looking at me." Nicole conceded.</p><p>"You gave her the powder?"</p><p>"Yeah, I did. Yesterday, I slipped it into one of the drawers in Jack's grandpa's house."</p><p>"Okay. Wow." Lilith's expression was conflicted, but in the end, she looked proud. "Not bad for a goody-two-shoes."</p><p>Nicole, in return, nudged her playfully.</p><p>“So, how did they cause the earthquake?” Jack inquired.</p><p>“They said they didn’t. I’m pretty sure they only used magic to track me. Or Alpha.”</p><p>“For all we know, the earthquake could have really been natural. Just because we have a low risk here in Norwich doesn’t mean we’re impenetrable or something.” Randall posed.</p><p>“You could be right.” Gabrielle concurred.</p><p>“Alyssa,” While the others we're minding their own business, I decided to commend her. “That was brave of you.”</p><p>“She was right, though. I guess it’s time to really find myself by myself.”</p><p>“No time better than right now. You’re gonna make it. Us rich kids with uncaring families, we’re trained by experience to get through uncomfortable situations by ourselves." We both laughed half-heartedly. "Plus, you’ve already made it this far.”  </p><p>Everyone's attention was yet again aimed at the entrance when a figure appeared. It was a brunette woman who wore black and had a very intriguing air about her. “Who are you?”</p><p>“That’s the necromancer.” Alyssa stared back at a distressed Jack.</p><p>“Ooh! Lovely to see you two. Unfortunately, I have to see Vera Stone, no time to catch up.” The said necromancer rushed towards our office.</p><p>“I think we have to go…” Randall trailed off. </p><p>“I’ll see you guys at The Den.” Then, I was left all alone. I endeavored to catch up with the woman, but as soon as she opened the door to the office, she closed it.</p><p> </p><p>“Vera! Great to see you.” I heard through the door. I pressed my ear onto the cold surface of the door, wanting to listen in more to their encounter.</p><p>“And to what do I owe this displeasure?” I could hear Vera sigh. I could just imagine her not allowing the woman to hinder her from focusing on her work.</p><p>“Oh, I just need a teensy bit of favor.” The necromancer mockingly declared. “My necrophone, where is it?”</p><p>“Your necrophone? Need I remind you that your sister gave it to us.”</p><p>“In exchange for getting her cured of cancer, but you haven’t succeeded at that, have you?”</p><p>“You’re quite mistaken. The deal was to perform the Elemental Transference, which we did, and then she gives us the necrophone which she did. So, I don’t know what your claim here is, but I’ve had enough of you today to last me a century-“</p><p>“What if I told you your future?” <em> What? </em></p><p>“I don’t need to, because I already see it right here.” <em> She's deflecting. </em></p><p>“You’re dying, Vera.”</p><p>Vera was audibly quiet for a moment. “Who isn’t? Nothing is set in stone.”</p><p>“Oh, but your fate already is. Or have you forgotten the consequences of performing the Fors Factorum?”</p><p>“Believe me, I haven’t. I’ve accepted death before he even asked a question.” I gulped at the authenticity of those words. </p><p>“I don’t think that’s true. Not anymore.” It's like she took the words right out of my mouth. “What if I tell you that it’s quite soon and that I could help you.”</p><p>“I don’t want your help nor do I need it.”</p><p>“You do. You really do.”</p><p>“Get out.”</p><p>“Whatever you want, Grand Magus. I’ll be expecting your call soon.” Swiftly, the door open and I caught sight of both the smug necromancer and a distant Vera. “Oh, looky, Vera. Your reason to live.”</p><p>“Vera, what was she talking about?” I got to her as quickly as I could.</p><p>“Beats me. She could be bluffing for all we know. We need to find out why she’s desperate and soon. She may just be planning something… big.”</p><p>
  <em> Oh, I really hope she was bluffing. </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>here is the second one for part 2! hope yall like it &lt;3 leave whatever u wanna.</p><p>I have no idea what Renee Marand's sister's name is so I will leave her nameless until I decide to name her.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. wait, if i'm on fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Part 1: What the fuck is going on with Lilith?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Double update today.<br/>This is a 2-part chapter. This is the longer version with Hamish's POV. The next one will be shorter and it will be coming from Vera's perspective. The events in both parts happen at a similar time.</p><p>title from SHAED ft. Zayn's "Trampoline"</p><p>https://youtu.be/BACl8Z1N2yk</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yesterday's revelation was still something I could not shake from my head. From the glass door in the corner of the room, I noticed the sun beginning to rise. The rays that managed to peak through our space licked Vera's skin. I watched her as she slept. It wasn't something that I haven't done before, but this time, dread filled my being at the scary suggestion of the future's possibility made by the necromancer. </p><p>She began to stir, her eyes fluttering open. An engulfing wave of relief washed over me.</p><p>“Hey. Good morning.” I slid a hand underneath her body and wrapped her in a tight embrace. She angled her head to press a kiss on my forehead.</p><p>“Morning.” She adjusted herself so that we were facing each other.</p><p>“Why do you look like you’ve been up for a while?” Her eyes scanned my face. “Wait, have you been?”</p><p>“No, just a couple of minutes before you.”</p><p>“That’s good.”</p><p>“Yeah. How are you feeling?” The question took her by surprise, which lead her to a conclusion she unmistakably disliked.</p><p>“Like I just woke up. Is that why you woke up earlier? Because of yesterday? I told you, she could just be pulling my leg. It was probably nothing but a scare tactic.”</p><p>“I messaged with Jack while you were asleep and-”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“Nothing specific about you, of course. He told me how necromancy helps her see the future, and she’s demonstrated it quite a lot when she was on the hunt for Jack and Alyssa.”</p><p>“Also, I can tell you’re not so sure.” I sighed deeply, moving a hand to tuck a stray strand of her hair. “Look, we need to be able to talk about this. I can tell you’re uncomfortable and I completely understand. But if there’s any possibility that what she’s saying is true, we need to get ahead of the situation.” <em> Before worst comes to worst. </em></p><p>“Okay, how about a compromise?” She proposed. “I look into all of this, and if something <em>unfortunate </em>does come up during my research, I will call you-”</p><p>“Regardless of time or event?” </p><p>She looked at me disapprovingly. “Maybe not since you’re a TA.”</p><p>“That’s fair. But you know my schedule, so whenever I’m free, you call as soon as possible.”</p><p>“I might not even need to.”</p><p>“I know. I just… I love you. I need to be sure you’re safe or I might not be able to focus on anything else.”</p><p>She nods in complete understanding. “I love you, too.”</p><p>Having ended our heavy-hearted conversation, Vera removed herself from the bed. “Are you coming with me to the Temple?”</p><p>I extended my hand to her, still lying down. She grabbed it and helped me up. “Ah, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ride my car today. I have to check on Lilith. I will be right by your side as soon as we come to a resolution about whatever is bothering her, though.”</p><p>My lips meet her cheek. Every morning, this was our routine. We go into a bit of communication before our preparations. I always make sure to give her a kiss, as long as it's not on the mouth. Because as she impatiently reminds me, she's extremely conscious of morning breath.</p><p>“So, what do you want for breakfast?”</p><p> </p><p>After the hearty meal Vera fixed for the two of us, we were out of the door straight away and onto our separate businesses for the day. I invited Lilith over text to meet me at the Blade and Chalice, and here we were, sitting at the most secluded table possible.</p><p>There was no use beating around the bush. She was clever enough to figure out my intention. So I initiated the discussion with a careful approach. “Lil.” </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“I noticed there’s something unusual going on with you. About the smoke. And, what are you-” She laid her wrist on the table, a red burn mark on her wrist was in view. “-your wrist? What the hell?”</p><p>“Turns out, <em> I  </em>was the fire.” She stated with a sarcastic grin. </p><p>“And by that you mean…?”</p><p>“Nicole woke me up this morning after screaming so loud our neighbors are probably writing their own eviction notices.” Her eyes twinkling with amusement and humor. “I was burning myself.”</p><p><em> Wait, what? " </em>Unconsciously?”</p><p>“Unconsciously, subconsciously… whichever. The smoke I’ve been smelling, that was probably just my new essence.”</p><p>“And you have no clue what’s going on? No memories from Timber, no clues from the Collective Unconscious?”</p><p>“Nada." She was examining my reaction for some reason. "But I know someone who could tell us.”</p><p> </p><p>Turns out, Lilith made a friend in hell, and we had to summon her again to find out what’s really happening. “Oh no, not this shithole again. Lilith! I’ve been waiting for you. Hell’s been breaking loose, because of you.”</p><p>“Hey, Zecchia- wait, what?”</p><p>“Is that not why you called me?” Zecchia trailed off apologetically, seemingly having slipped up something she didn't want to.</p><p> “No, but you could explain that.” Lilith accusingly remarked. Zecchia motioned for her to go first. “I’ve been burning myself in my sleep. I can’t seem to control the fire from coming out of my… everything.”</p><p>“Everything everything?” Zecchia was purely horrified until Lilith scrunched her nose and shook her head. “That’s good because that <em>is not </em>at all normal. Also, that is the farthest thing you have to worry about. The inability to control new abilities <em>is </em>normal. I thought that was obvious even in this stupid realm?”</p><p>“So, I’m not in danger?”</p><p>“Well, seeing as you’re basically just a hybrid of three different magical and powerful beings, you technically ARE the danger." Lilith and I looked at each other, both at ease at the good news.</p><p>Zecchia coughed to catch our attention again and continued. "But you are in danger just not for the reasons you think.”</p><p>“What? Is- is this what you meant when you said all hell’s breaking loose?”</p><p>“Sort of. To be honest, only a small portion of-“</p><p>“Get to the point.”</p><p>Fear was evident in the demon's feature. “She’s coming for you.”</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“Xzhuria.”</p><p>“What did she say?” I clarified.</p><p>“Who the fuck is that?”</p><p>“You don’t remember? Of course, you don’t. Ever since she’s claimed you, pieces of you disappeared, because she made them. She wanted you to belong to her. For centuries, she has been looking for someone worthy enough to call her own, and then you came along, and she thought you were fated to be sent to her. Honestly, I can’t say I blame her. Coming to our realm, you were a magnetic force of a bitch. Fierce, headstrong, and there was always this something about you. You should be grateful that I got to you first. A lot of them wanted to see you break and were willing to do anything to see to that.”</p><p>Clearly overwhelmed by all of that, Lilith laughed. “She wants to adopt me is what you're saying. Wow, I've never felt so wanted in my whole life, but I'm gonna have to decline."</p><p>“What is she going to do once she arrives?” I interrupted.</p><p>“Haven’t you felt the earth shake? Every single second, it vibrates – even as we speak – her impending arrival is crumbling the earth.”</p><p>“So, she’s destroying Earth?” I posed. </p><p>“Not intentionally, no. And, really her presence alone won't cause too much harm. But if she wanted to...”</p><p>“Then what the fuck is she <em>intentionally </em>going to do? To me?” Lilith pointed at herself.</p><p>“She’s dragging you back.” Zecchia looked cast down with what she confessed.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Panic instantly set in my body. “Is there anything we can do to prevent that from happening?”</p><p>“I’m not sure.” </p><p>“There <em>is </em>something.”</p><p>Zecchia sighed. “If Lilith fights.”</p><p>“Oh, I fucking will. I’m not letting anyone, even a demon bitch-“</p><p>“Let me stop you right there. She’s a very powerful demon bitch. But only you have even a small amount of her powers coursing through your veins, so if anyone’s going to have a chance, it’s you.”</p><p>“Let her come to me then.” Lilith seethed. “How come I can’t remember anything? You said pieces of me left, but why does it feel like everything to do with her hits like a blackout? Isn’t there any way I could get my memories back? Can’t you steal them from wherever in hell they are?”</p><p>Her expression screamed of warning.“I actually think it’s best to leave it be.”</p><p>There was a slight pause to everything until Lilith slowly nodded her head in understanding. “What did she do to me?”</p><p>Something gray was visible in the air and it was coming from her. “Lil, you need to calm down. I’m starting to smell smoke.”</p><p>“I’m not gonna calm down until I know what the fuck she did to me.”</p><p>“I can tell you a few things, but I can’t give you your memories back. I don’t think even as a demon, you’ve lost all your conscience.” Zecchia motioned for her to move closer, and once close enough, she placed a hand on her forehead. </p><p>Lilith closed her eyes. Her expression immediately resembled distraught and even more heat was felt in the room. This was bad. This was really, really bad.</p><p>As soon as they finished, I walked towards Lilith. “What did she show you?”</p><p>She revealed nothing. No words fell out of her, none even of hostility. She paced and paced, which forced me to turn to Zecchia questioningly, who only stared at the ground.</p><p>“That was the worst, wasn’t it?” She finally chose to speak. “Slaughter. I burnt villages of innocent creatures and tortured people- children, and for what? To get her approval?”</p><p>“I’m sorry I can’t do more for you,” Zecchia muttered.</p><p>“You told me you never feel sorry for anything.” </p><p>“Make this the one exception. You know I can’t help anymore after this, right? If I side with you, it will be an eternity of- well, hell. Be prepared, Lilith.” And then, Zecchia was gone.</p><p> After Zecchia's departure, Lilith allowed herself to break down. So many tears, so much anger; she freely expressed them. I stood there in front of her, uncertain of what she wanted me to do. I settled on tapping her on the shoulder.</p><p>“Nobody but me owns me. I’m gonna get that through that bitch’s head and she will pay for everything she’s forced me to do. And I’m gonna succeed no matter the consequences.”</p><p>"We have to tell the others."</p><p>"I'll tell them. You can call Vera."</p><p>And that's exactly what I did. “I have really bad news.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you've read the notes in the beginning, you already know this is a 2-part Chapter. Next parts coming very soon. &lt;3 Have fun yall.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. when I dream of dying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Part 2: How is Vera?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the second part!<br/>2/2 on today’s double update.</p><p>title from SHAED and Zayn's Trampoline</p><p>https://youtu.be/BACl8Z1N2yk</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Vera</strong>
</p><p>As I relentlessly scoured the reliquary for a book, a title that could possibly help me figure out what was going to happen to me, it drained me. Never in my life have I felt so desperate to live, because not once did I fear death until now. It was habitual for me to expect the worst. It's easier to do so, and it's the most obvious option. Perhaps no book in the world could cure me. </p><p>But when I close my eyes and think of giving up, his face appears. The necromancer was right. He was my reason to live, and I made him a promise. I would read every single book in every language I know just to keep that promise.</p><p>An hour or two passed and still- nothing. Regardless, I was deep in thought and absorbed with constructing a plan when a voice sobered me up from my trance. "Grand Magus."</p><p>It was Mr. Morton's calling muffled behind the door. I instantly granted him entry. His face greeted me with a sheepish expression. "Mr. Morton, you have something on your mind?"</p><p>Gazing upon the dozens of piles of books on the floor, it morphed his reaction into one of puzzlement. "Woah, what's all this?"</p><p>I dismissed his suspicions. "Research. What are you doing here? You're not with Hamish?"</p><p>"Why would I be with Hamish?" His eyes still scanning the mess on the floor.</p><p><em> I guess not all of them are invited. " </em>Uh, I have a feeling you're going to get a call about that later."</p><p>"Okay?" He bent down to pick up some of the books on the floor. "What are you researching for?"</p><p>"Mr. Morton," I called out, aware of his attempts to delay his intentions.</p><p>"Fine, you caught me. I was stalling." He shamefully admitted. "I'm here to talk about Alyssa."</p><p>"What about Ms. Drake?"</p><p>“Is there any chance you could induct her again?”</p><p>I choked in surprise. “Jack- you know I can’t do that.”</p><p>His nods were quick and submissive. “No, I- I understand. I thought I’d give it a shot. It's- it scares me how many people want her gone. I just want to assure her safety, that's all."</p><p><em> And that's how Hamish must feel </em>. The realization not only made me empathize with Jack but increased the guilt that was building up inside me. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Really, Vera. I get it. Given the risks, for everyone, and considering what you’ve already done for her and me, you’ve done enough. Thank you anyway. Especially for not telling anyone about Alyssa being resurrected or about Praxis’s attack.”</p><p>I released a heavy sigh. “I’m in so much trouble, I know.”</p><p>“I’m sorry for being part of the problem.”</p><p>I had to disagree with that. “No, Mr. Morton. Quite the opposite. You’re one of the reasons why I recognized I needed to be better. So thank you.”</p><p>It was seconds of quiet before Jack recollected something. “Vera, about the necromancer, what did she tell you? Hamish texted, and he’s really worried.”</p><p>“It’s nothing-” I was cut off by the sound of the door opening. </p><p>“Nothing? Lies.” The necromancer defied.</p><p>"Do you always have to open the door unannounced?" Rolling my eyes, I scoffed at her.</p><p>"What can I say, it's more compelling that way." She grinned at me smugly. Her head immediately tilted to Jack, signaling his need to leave the room.</p><p>“Mr. Morton.” I nodded at him to dismiss him.</p><p>“I’ll go.” He walked towards the exit, but his eyes remained on me, gauging my expression. I shook my head to convey that I was fine on my own.</p><p>After he left, I turned my gaze back to the woman who so loves barging in.</p><p>“Back for your necrophone?” I taunted. </p><p>“Still not giving in?”</p><p>“You can answer that yourself with your amazing prophetic predictions.”</p><p>“Ah, what a terrible skeptic you are Vera. You really ought to be more <em> open </em> to every possibility. That’s how I live my life.” Her tone was evidently admonitory.</p><p>I held my head high. “Don’t be too offended, but I don’t think that’s much of reassurance since your life is a mess.”</p><p>“I’d argue yours is, too. Especially after you receive the next phone call.” There goes another foresight. “But I’m not here to be difficult with you. I’m here to warn you.”</p><p>“Warn me? Oh, here we are again. I told you, I’m not giving you anything.”</p><p>“And I’m telling you that I couldn’t care less about that. There <strong> is </strong> a serious threat to your life. Be careful with how you use your powers next.” The intensity of her earnestness appalled me, but I promptly recovered.</p><p>“Oh, I know it is. Serious question, is that threat going to be you? Are you afraid I’m going to kill you? Is that what you saw in your <em> vision </em>? Because if it is, there’s no need for that. I don’t waste my time on pests.” And with that, her usual behavior was back again.</p><p>“Very humble of you, thinking you’re more powerful than I am. But this is not about me. This is about you and what could happen to you if you don’t believe me.”</p><p>I never concede, but right now, there's too much exhaustion in my body. This constant cycle of it's-true-no-true with her was wearing me out that I just had to. Even if it's not all the way. “Let’s say I’m considering this as a possibility, which I’m still far from doing so, what is going to happen exactly?”</p><p>“Once you release a great amount of your magic, the toll on your body is going to be bad enough that it may kill you on the spot.” </p><p>It was proving to be more and more difficult to control myself when in dispute with this woman. My eye was twitching for a full second before I caught myself and turned my back to her. “Is there any way to fact-check all this? Or do you think I’m stupid enough to fall for your scare tactics?”</p><p>“No, but you’re definitely headstrong enough to not heed warnings and drive yourself to your own destruction.” Her voice was amplifying with every step she took towards me. </p><p>I spun around to face her again, confident that I showed no emotion. “Ms. Marand, this has been... a <em> very  </em>stimulating confrontation, but I’m still not buying your bullshit.”</p><p>“Then I’m sorry for you, Grand Magus.” Her hand came into contact with my elbow.</p><p>“Don’t you fucking touch me.”</p><p>She backed away slightly, but her expression did not resemble regret. “Oh, forgive me. Open the door for me, will you?”</p><p>Once her request was made, it revealed a startled Mr. Carpio. “Is Jack here?” He trailed off. The necromancer laughed at his failed efforts and marched away.</p><p>“How much of that did you eavesdrop on?” He feigned offense to my accusation. “Oh, please. None of you wolves are subtle when it comes to these things.”</p><p>“You have to tell him.”</p><p>I snorted at that. “I thought you’d be quite glad to hear that I might die.”</p><p>“<em> Oh, please </em>." He mimicked. "I don’t hold grudges. At least not as much as you think I do.” </p><p>“Hamish… he cares about you a lot. And although I could never wrap my head around that, I never want to see him the way he was when Cassie died. So even if I would have wanted this before, don’t die.”</p><p>“You’re a good man, Mr. Carpio.”</p><p>“Duh. I wouldn’t be a med student if I wasn’t.” He joked. “Also, part of being a good man is to be honest, and I have to admit, I know you know she’s telling the truth.”</p><p>“I’m considering it.”</p><p>Moments passed with Mr. Carpio averting his gaze until he finally uttered his sentiments. “Okay. I have to go. This is getting kinda awkward now.”</p><p>A chuckle left my mouth at the total ridiculousness of the man. But then I looked around, and I was all alone again. Being by myself during a time like this, it was scary. Thought upon thoughts upon thoughts. I don't want this to be real, but I don't know what to do anymore. And then the phone call does arrive.</p><p>“I have really bad news.” Those words might have just been enough to break me.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, I have uploaded 2/2 of my 2-part chapter! Hope you guys loved that! Exciting things are coming! </p><p>As usual, leave what ya wanna leave &lt;3 I really love replying to comments. Have a great day/afternoon/ night wherever yall are! Don't forget to tweet #RenewTheOrder on Twitter, because I really need s3 and even more season and I know you all feel the same.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. and will you sigh with me when i'm sad?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Vera at her weakest point.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm probably messed up, but the title is from "If I Give My Heart To You" by Doris Day. Not a very fitting song for this chapter, but mismatches just have a certain appeal to me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Following mine and Lilith's conversation with Zecchia and then my phone call with Vera, I rushed to get to the office to be able to discuss with her face-to-face. In my overwhelmed state, my reflexes immediately kicked in, and as soon as I opened the door, I sprinted towards Vera, bringing her close to me. </p><p>To my surprise, she clung onto me tighter than I expected."Where's Ms. Bathory?"</p><p>I released her from my embrace to face her. "She's telling the others."</p><p>"That's good. It's good to be prepared." Her reply was muttered quietly, and she appeared to be out of breath. She quickly sat down.</p><p>“This is crazy, right?” I exhaled for five seconds, trying to let reality sink in. “This is entirely crazy! What are we supposed to do with this? Are we- are we going to tell Council? How do we even help Lilith at this point? I don’t know what to do with any of this.”</p><p>I received a nod from her and hum of approval, but it seemed as if she was out of it. Her gaze was onto the ground, and it looked distant from the world.<em> Something was wrong </em>. “Vera, did something happen while I was gone? You’ve been awfully quiet.”</p><p>She remained unmoving, her back crouched. I tapped her lightly on the shoulder, hoping that it would awaken from her thoughts, but she only shook her head slowly.</p><p>A few more minutes passed of nothingness. But all of a sudden, there was motion beneath the ground. One that was intensifying every minute that passed and that sobered Vera up. Our eyes locked hastily in panic, and I, who was upright, stumbled. Frantic voices could be heard outside, catching Vera's attention.</p><p>Not waiting for another second longer, I found stability whilst gripping at the shelves in front of me. I opened the door, and as soon as I did, Vera ran past me despite the shaking ground.</p><p>“Everyone, find safety somewhere!” I noticed her movements wavering as if having committed something she thought twice about. She turned to me. “Use a shielding incantation on everyone, including yourself.” </p><p>I did as she instructed despite my confusion. A forcefield-looking bubble cocooned all of us, and I watched Vera spell one for herself.</p><p>It was a good ten minutes until the earthquake eventually stopped. Everyone was granted permission to leave their duties for the day, but not until they finished cleaning up the temple.</p><p>The two of us returned to the room and Vera, with her fatigued expression stared at me. “Hamish, I-” A ring prevented her from proceeding.</p><p>"Tell me what's going on."</p><p>She glanced at her phone, her eyes widening for a millisecond. "I can't ignore this. It's the Council."</p><p>And she was off to answering the said call. "Yes, this is the Grand Magus speaking. Yes, it was for about ten minutes. I <em> see</em>. I'll have one of my disciples look into this. I will call you once I get anything."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"Can you get someone outside? I need to have someone do a bit of internet research. Preferably someone we can trust."</p><p>I scanned the group of working disciples, but settled once I spotted Gabrielle. "Medicum, come inside the office, will you?"</p><p>She complied instantly, shutting the door after she was inside. "Grand Magus, Temple Magus, not to sound rude, but Jack just called me minutes ago saying that Lilith had something she needed to tell all of us. Is this what's happening?"</p><p>"No. You can go ahead and tell Jack that we have you on an assignment, and we can tell you what's up afterward." </p><p>"Okay. So what is this assignment?"</p><p>"I need you to look into the earthquake. Search for any patterns, anything that might make the situation unusual. I got a call from the Council that every Order worldwide experienced an earthquake at the same time and in the same duration. I need to report to them as soon as possible." Vera explained to which Gabrielle responded to with a nod and a bow before she exited.</p><p>Once it was only Vera and me inside, I confronted her. “Vera, what’s wrong?”</p><p>A weak laugh escaped her lips. “A lot of things are, apparently. And I’m fucked. It’s inevitable, I’m going down. If not metaphorically, maybe even literally.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I think I might be dying.” She whispered sorrowfully.</p><p>“What? Did you find anything? Are you feeling any different?”</p><p>“The necromancer came again.”</p><p>“And what did she say? What made it different this time?”</p><p>“She said I can’t use too much of my magic or else…” Her words were trailed off, unable to face the music. “And I’m not sure, but there’s no reason for her to lie. No one’s that adamant that they’d march on enemy territory, and she just kept going on and on about her warnings, and maybe it’s real. I could never comprehend the reason why she would do this, but I’m starting to believe that maybe I do have to listen. There’s so much to do. I can’t be this way right now. “ </p><p>“I know…” I sighed deeply. “But you just can’t let this be, Vera. And I’m not going to make this about me this time. What do you want? What do you need? Maybe there’s something we can do.”</p><p>“I can barely think of anything. Every time I attempt to do so, a flurry of shitstorms enter my mind, and I don’t know which one to focus on.” The tears were falling down her face and it was a painful sight to behold. “I can’t think about the truth, because that’s what’s got us here in the first place. I can’t think about more lies, because that still leads to the same road: hell. I can’t think about hell, because that’s probably where I’m going. I can’t think of myself, because I’m fucking dying. And I can’t think of other people when all I want to think about is you.”</p><p>“Don’t focus on me. Focus on you. We’re not yet sure that there’s no other way around this, right?” I had to calm myself down. The circumstances relied on me to keep everything afloat and I would willingly do anything Vera needed of me. “Then maybe there is. We are going to find it if it exists, and until then, you are not going to use too much of your magic. Are you good with that?”</p><p>Instead of responding with a straightforward yes or no, what she said was: “I want to be with you.”</p><p>I welcomed her in, guiding her head towards my chest. I can't let her see me with this pained expression. It would only feed into her breakdown. As she wept onto my chest, a traitorous drop escaped my eyes. “You are with me, and you are going to be for as long as we both can.” <em> And hopefully, that’s a long time. </em></p><p>A knock interrupted the moment. "It's Gabrielle. I may have found something."</p><p>Vera turned her back to the door and nodded at me to open it. "What is it?"</p><p>"The earthquake, as it happens, was experienced worldwide. Like, not just on ones with factions of The Order. There have been reports of tsunamis in water-covered areas as well. And as it turns out, all of that was simultaneous and with the same duration of ten minutes." She glimpsed at both me and Vera's back in her search for explanations. "Do you have any idea what could be causing this, Temple Magus?"</p><p>"Ye-" I was about to give her what she wanted until yet another shrill sound disrupted the confession. <em> What is it gonna be this time? </em></p><p>“Hamish… she’s here.” <em> Fuck. </em></p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this one's not very long sorry, but Hamish and Vera got an emotional scene so</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. if you're hurting, so am I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The main gang has a chat about what's about to go down.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "Joey" by Shovels &amp; Rope, Nicole Atkins</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Struggling to keep a steady breath at this instant was inescapable. It was as if I could feel my world slowly crumbling, and what's worse is that it's probably not going to get better from here. I closed my eyes for one moment, permitting myself to fully grasp the severity of our conditions. But I may have taken a second too long.</p><p>"Hamish?" Lilith's voice came out as unsteady, but never fearful. It was precisely what got through to me and yanked me out of my state of shock. I glimpsed at both Vera and Gabrielle, the two wearing similar expressions of concern and anticipation. I shook my head at them to signify the discord about to ensue. Before responding, I quickly tapped on the loudspeaker mode on my phone.</p><p>“Lil, are you with the others?” I sought out to sound steadfast.</p><p>“Yes.” She uttered her reply with no pause.</p><p>“Tell them to try and stay calm. We’re coming over-“</p><p>“No, you don’t have to.”</p><p>“But I thought-“</p><p>“She is here. In our realm. I can feel her. There’s this tingling inside my skin and the way my blood feels, I just know she’s here. But she hasn’t found me yet.”</p><p>I directed my gaze at Vera, pointing to the ground to gauge her opinion on extending an invitation. “Come to the temple.”</p><p>A hum of approval was heard from Lilith before she dropped the call. After that, not one word was spoken. Everything was communicated through head and eye movements and grimaces, most of which came from Vera and me.</p><p>“Another demon has broken through our realm? And she’s coming for Lilith?” I really ought to thank Gabrielle for her brain. Having to describe, let alone think, of the current state of our universe- it was forming a massive headache. I believe I have lost the capacity to comprehend. “So, what’s gonna happen now?”</p><p>I cautiously took a step towards Vera. There was only one thing that came to mind, and it's not something that worked in our favor. “The first thing we need to do is... to tell Council.”</p><p>Vera released a disheartened chuckle. “That’s not a bad idea, but it’s not a brilliant one either.”</p><p>Although I had no qualms with her statement, I had no control over the exasperated sigh that left my lips. “I know, but at this point, what other choice do we have?”</p><p>“Okay, do you have any idea on what our next move is?”</p><p>“Not really, no.”</p><p>“Then I guess I’ll go ahead and do the undesirable inevitable.” She patted me on the shoulder before she approached the table for her phone.</p><p>“Hello? Yes, I have news. Upon investigation, I think we have reason to believe that a demon is coming into our realm. Perhaps, they’re already here.” Her hand reached for mine on the table. I clutched at it, hoping that it boosts any kind of positive emotion inside her.</p><p>“No, I understand that this is a very serious claim. But seeing as there is no other explanation for the phenomena we are experiencing, we are left with the only conclusion. I have no idea why this is happening either, but one thing is certain, and it is that we must prepare for what is to come. Trouble is brewing somewhere, and we must be ready to protect our temples and the rest of the world. Yes, I’ll meet you in a few minutes. Alert the other nations for me, will you?”<br/>Gabrielle and I locked eyes in confusion at what seemed to be the finish of the conversation.  “You didn’t tell them about Lilith.”</p><p>“I was just going to point that out, but maybe you two want to talk it out in private? I’ll wait outside for the others.” Gabrielle proposed.</p><p>I smiled at the initiative. “That would be a good idea. Thank you, Medicum.”</p><p>“Before you go, send everyone else a message to come report to Temple for our meeting with The Council.</p><p>“And please, include Angus,” I added without hesitation. There was no use keeping him out of the loop; his misdemeanor is not grounds for him being exempted from this.</p><p>Gabrielle furrowed her eyebrows at the request. “But isn’t he-“</p><p>“His punishment, as of now, has been lifted.”</p><p>“Okay. Thank you, Magus.” And then she was out the door. </p><p>I immediately turned my attention to Vera who was clearly anticipating what I had to say. “Why didn’t you tell them the whole truth?”</p><p>“That’s a very vague question and one I, unfortunately, can’t answer. I guess it was reflexes. You know what they say about bad habits, they’re extremely hard to break. And deception was the mask I've worn for years.” Her head hung low dejectedly. The way she acted, the shame she felt- it changed how I perceived the situation.</p><p>I placed a hand on her chin, lifting it so that she was facing me. “That may be true, but there's so much more to you. What you've done for me- for Lilith and what you're willing to do for what you know is right, it speaks volumes of who you truly are. Thank you.”</p><p>“Don’t thank me yet. Everything could still go wrong.” She feigned humor.</p><p>“No, you’re right but still- thank you. No matter what happens, I’ll be right here.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“We’re here!” A loud cry was audible before the door busted wide open. And of course, that was Randall, grin still intact despite the whirlwind of quandaries.</p><p>"Thank you for not knocking, Randall." I snickered at the ridiculousness and then diverted my gaze to the others that followed behind him in entering.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“Well, we’re gonna have to make this quick. People will be arriving shortly.” Vera announced.</p><p>“What are we supposed to do here anyway?” A visibly fuming Lilith demanded.</p><p>“How about we consider a plan?” Jack answered sarcastically.</p><p>“I think it’s very simple: kill the bitch.” She deadpanned.</p><p>“Lilith- this is serious.” Nicole admonished. My heart went out to the woman after remarking her teary-eyed state.</p><p>“Yeah, Lil.” Randall seconded Nicole's sentiments. Lilith stared at the two with a conflict of annoyance and understanding in her face.</p><p>“And she knows that. She’s not a child, and she’s not fragile.” Gabrielle defended and shrugged unapologetically after Randall lightly bumped her on the shoulder. </p><p>“Thank you,” Lilith grumbled, but compensated Gabrielle with a grateful nod.</p><p>“While I admire the straightforwardness of Lilith’s suggestion, I’m afraid there are other things we also have to consider.” I appended.</p><p>“Like?”</p><p>"Like how we're going to face the Council? How we're actually planning to confront the empress demon?" Jack listed.</p><p>Lilith scoffed. “That first one, I couldn't give two shits about. It's not going to affect me as much it will Vera, so count me out of that one.”</p><p>“Lil.” After I called her out, her expression went from uncaring to instant regret.  </p><p>“She’s right, though,” Vera mumbled.</p><p>Regardless of her struggle to swallow her pride, she released a deep breath before admitting fault. “I agree, but I guess I was wrong as well. There’s just so much- all of this is too much for me. And there is no finish line because this is my whole life now."</p><p>”We’re never going to allow anything bad to happen to you.” Randall reassured her, determined.</p><p>”For now. What about when you guys die? Because news flash, demons can't die. And what about the things that have already gone wrong? I didn't sign up for all of this bullshit.”</p><p>“I’m dying,” Vera stated out of the blue.</p><p>“Wait, what?” Jack</p><p>I noticed Randall glancing from me to Vera. “You’ve told him then. That’s… great.”</p><p>“He knew?” The rest of the group looked around, the questions in their heads apparent.</p><p>“He eavesdropped,” Vera explained hastily. “Anyway, the point to my revelation was that I understand you, Ms. Bathory. To a certain extent. Your fate; it’s unclear. But the glimpses of it are scary, and I feel the same way about my own, which is exactly why we need to devise a plan. So that we don’t make things worse.”</p><p>“That wasn’t the most eloquent speech especially coming from you, but I’m sold.” Lilith gave in after a few minutes of thought. "Now what? If you want my input, then all I have to say is, leave that bitch Xzhuria to me."</p><p>"You can't just hog all the glory." Gabrielle rolled her eyes.</p><p>Randall cut in. "What Gabrielle is trying to say is, we're not standing by and watching you fight her alone. We're here for you."</p><p>"Was that really what she meant?" Jack teased.</p><p>"In a way," Gabrielle smirked.</p><p>"What about Council?" Nicole brought up, killing the mood directly.</p><p>A moment of silence and contemplation was held before Jack came up with the only answer. "We do what we do best. Act as if the world isn't ending even when it could be."</p><p>When all was said and done, the group had to separate for preparations. There was nothing left for me to do, so I decided to check on Vera who was in the middle of a conversation with Jack.</p><p>“Vera, why are you dying?” I heard Jack's inquiry.</p><p>“Let’s just say it’s the consequences of greed and power.”</p><p>"And there's no way to reverse the effect of whatever is causing this?"</p><p>"Not that I'm aware of."</p><p>"If we get through this, anything's possible." There was an unsaid promise in Jack's voice, and it caused a rush of awe in me. If I was going to die soon, I'm glad I lived having, not the family I was born into, but the family I needed and would choose always. </p><p>Once he realized I was idling to get to Vera, Jack tipped his head towards her in my direction. I patted him on the shoulder before he went to join the others.</p><p>As soon as I was right beside her, I tilted to meet her gaze. "Now what?"</p><p>"Now we wait." </p><p>It wasn't long after we concluded that acolytes began to pour into the Temple. And then, belatedly, The Council and the Adeptai made their way into the Temple. I browsed across the altar to examine the faces of my friends. They all seemed to be bracing themselves at the possibility of anything. Basically, how I felt at that exact moment.</p><p>As the people we dreaded coming into contact with neared us, I held my head high. "Grand Magus, Temple Magus. Let's begin, shall we?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well... hey, guys. Long time no... update? So, I'm sorry that this took longer than usual. I hope I didn't disappoint yall too much. Tell me what you think! If you want to. &lt;3 Leave what you wanna leave as usual. We're almost at the end of this story. It's going to be an exciting ride. I think.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. my fire is starved of oxygen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The meeting with council takes an unexpected twist.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from SYML's "The Dark"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I see you’ve invited <em> everyone.  </em>A great initiative, I must say.” After The Council initiated the meeting, none of us expected them to pull out laptops and projectors. Yet here we were, right in front of Council members all over the world whose worried expressions were glaring despite the grainy display of the screen. I caught a glance at Jack, who was lightly shaking his head in concern.</p><p>The head of the Council, whose name has escaped my memory, sheepishly smiled at Vera. “Well, as you’ve expressed earlier, this is a fairly serious situation, Grand Magus.”</p><p>She, of course, had no choice but to shrug in agreement. “Right.” </p><p>“And what justifies the suspicion?” A man from the rows of seated Council members spoke out of the blue.</p><p>“Always the straight shooter, Mr. Bernard.” There was an edge to Vera's stance that told me that this guy was bad news.</p><p>“He’s right. Did someone in your Temple summon someone for personal gain again?" A heavily-accented voice seeped through the speakers. </p><p>"As I've disclosed on the call, there are no other speculations to be made. Tell me, have you thought of other causes that we could link to this phenomenon?” Her question was met with silence and back-and-forth glances.</p><p>“Alright, I admit that we also have no clue as to why this is happening, but forgive me, you can’t just pull something as big as this out of your ass. Although, it wouldn’t be the first.” The audience gasped at the tone of "Mr. Bernard". </p><p>I glared in retaliation to his lack of respect. “Hey, remember who you’re talking to.”</p><p>“Yes, I agree. Subservience, Stue.” The Council Head cautioned, and the man in question scoffed in response.</p><p>“Thank you, Thomas.” Vera nodded her head in gratitude.</p><p>“But,” Thomas continued with a hesitant look. “Grand Magus, I also agree that this can’t be based purely on suspicion. Is there any other reason why you think a demon could be causing this much amount of chaos?”</p><p>“Especially since hundreds, if not, thousands of demons enter into this realm with ease through rituals. And not one demon in our recorded history has ever attempted to get through because they have never wanted to, needed to, and it is out of their capabilities.” The defiant man once again vocalized.</p><p>“But you’re forgetting about powerful emperor demons.” Jack intervened. His suggestion elicited a panicked reaction from everyone in the room. </p><p>“You can’t seriously be suggesting-” Mr. Bernard rolled his eyes in suspicion.</p><p>“Are you suggesting-” Thomas asked, frightened.</p><p>Jack admitted immediately. “Yes, I am. And I apologize for speaking out of turn, but my only wish is to help solve the puzzle. I hope I didn’t overstep, Grand Magus.”</p><p>“No, not at all. Thank you, Magistratus.” Vera masked her appreciation with nonchalance, but it was obvious that Jack realized that she meant the words more than she let on. </p><p> </p><p>Mr. Bernard ignored all the commotion and went on with his blabber. “So, how come you think this one is an emperor demon, then? When I’m sure everybody knows, hopefully so, that emperor demons don’t do the dirty work. They get the ones beneath them to do it. Rogwan was the exception, and the only reason he got loose was because of the former Grand Magus of this Temple. It always seems to come from here, hmm? Who’s to say that history hasn’t repeated itself?”</p><p>“You’re getting too comfortable with that tone of yours, <em> Stewart </em>. Maybe you need a reminder as to why you need to stand down.” Vera riposted. The smirk on his face irked her in ways that made her challenge him. “Come on, spit it out. Go ahead and tell me what it is that's on your mind.”</p><p>“You killed Bitsy.” The revelation bewildered the crowd.</p><p>Thomas puffed in shock. “Stue, are you quite certain-”</p><p>“Oh, I am.”</p><p>“Now who’s pulling crap out of their ass, huh? What proof do <strong> you </strong> have?” Vera mimicked, a laugh clearly wanting to escape her lips.</p><p>“She’s always despised you for a reason, and it was only time until she took you down.” He held his head high, condescendingly watching her.</p><p>“I’m sorry, but wasn’t it Elizabeth that recommended that Vera remained our Grand Magus?” Someone from the table recalled.</p><p>“Which only proves my point!” Mr. Bernard extended his arms as if to express the certainty of his case.</p><p>“Which is what?” Vera continued their exchange.</p><p>“Vera blackmailed Bitsy, and then when she found a window of opportunity(Praxis), she finally went ahead and eliminated her greatest threat.”</p><p>“And why would Praxis be a ‘window of opportunity’, if you would please explain? You, no doubt, have all the answers.”</p><p>"You're getting too carried away by your emotions. I get that Bitsy was a dear friend of yours, and grief presents itself in different ways. But this is not helping." Thomas urged him to surrender.</p><p>He scorned the unspoken warning. “Vera Stone, you think you’re <em> so  </em> different from Edward. Well, you’re right. You’re even more sinister than him. There is no doubt in my mind that you have started Praxis yourself.  <strong> You  </strong>are behind all of this.”</p><p>“That <em> is  </em>a bold allegation.” Another caller on the video call stated, reminding us that they were still there, listening.</p><p>“One that Bitsy propagated. <strong> For a reason </strong>." Mr. Bernard pushed.</p><p>It was ridiculous the scene that took place. A quick glance at Lilith was what finally compelled me to interrupt. “I think we’ve all lost our focus here.”</p><p>“You’d defend her. She promoted you. Did you help her, too?” The man had the audacity to resume his nonsense, and it was worthless bothering to acknowledge.</p><p>“Look,” I addressed everyone. “Instead of listening to bogus conspiracy theories, shouldn’t we all get back to the matter at hand? There is a literal threat that has legitimate evidence that could haunt us any moment now. Isn't it about time we do what it is that we gathered here for?"</p><p>Murmurs were heard from all over. Most of the ones I heard were of approval to my sentiments. Vera clutched my hand beneath the desk, and I squeezed it right back. “Thank you, Temple Magus, for setting back the focus.” </p><p>"Fine." The accusatory looks convinced Mr. Bernard to put a stop to his insistent rebellion. Vera beamed at the defeat of the man. "How come this one's an emperor demon?"</p><p>She shrugged. "The symptoms check out. The pattern of the disasters, the frequency, and the fact that this all occurred unprovoked. Plus, I have reason to believe this isn't magical. The wolves do not hear a ringing every time an earthquake takes place. Practitioners are not causing this, and no other creature has the ability to disrupt the natural order of the planet."</p><p>"If I may butt in?" Gabrielle inquired, which Vera allowed. "When Grand Magus asked me to do my research on this, I came upon a book that hypothesized what we are experiencing right now."</p><p>She paused to grab said book from underneath the table. "It says here that less powerful demons actually have access to our realm. They go unnoticed because no harm is generated. They carry out orders and then return. Some of the more powerful ones may cause several earthquakes but in smaller parts of the globe. It's completely possible to leave their realm without being summoned, but it takes a lot of effort in their part, depending on how powerful they are, and most of the time they have no reason to. And the Councilor Bernard is right. Emperor demons have no interest to be here, but on the rare occasion they do, with the intensity of their power, the Earth could never handle it. Thus access for them is more difficult, and the effects are more palpable and more damaging."</p><p>"Let me read that." Mr. Bernard grumbled. Gabrielle handed the book to Randall and they passed it around until it reached the skeptic's grasps. </p><p>Thomas peeked at what the other was reading, "So, what is the best course of action?"</p><p>"We have to get every weapon we have against emperor demons and demons in general. Since we know neither the demon's intentions nor their destination, all we can do is be prepared and hope for the best. If anyone has a recommendation, feel free. One idea could be our saving grace." Vera's speech was cut off by an alarm that she, no doubt, recognized. She was fuming.</p><p>"A demon alarm. You knew all along." She cited. "Was it really smart to grill me for as long as you did?"</p><p>The sound was only getting louder and louder which only signaled to one thing: Xzhuria is close.</p><p>"Well, we weren't really asserting the issue. Why we're here is more of an attempt to clarify a questioning character." Mr. Bernard explained smugly. It was unbelievable the guts of this man and how much he only cares for him and himself.</p><p>"And that's more important than saving the world, is it? I can't believe it. All of you should feel ashamed for yourself." Thomas did seem so and a bunch of others. He refused to meet Vera's bitter gaze, but it was too late for regret. Or was it actually too early? "Now we're all fucked."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>shit's about to get dooooown ;) so what do yall think???? I hope that wasn't too confusing. If it was, feel free to ask me below. Anyway, I hope this was as exciting for you to read as it was for me to write. I actually really like this one. The stuff coming- they're exciting! We're almost at the end! &lt;3 </p><p>also, non-Specularis related, but it really sucks that The Order hasn't been renewed yet :(((((( hopefully a miracle happens soon. #RenewTheOrder :((((((</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. but it’s just the price I pay, destiny is calling me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>All hell breaks loose.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers</p><p> </p><p>hold on to your seats, this one's gonna be an extra rocky road kind of ride :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s getting louder. Why is this happening?” Thomas was accurate in his observation. </p><p>“The demon is coming to your temple.” Someone from the video call stated in relief.</p><p>“Why would it be coming here?” The question was met with silence. </p><p>Another caller cleared his throat to grab our attention. “Well, seeing as this is your temple’s problem, I think it’s best that we leave now.”</p><p>“You guys are just leaving?” Selena exclaimed.</p><p>“We’d love to help, of course, but I think this is beyond our control.” Murmurs of support followed the comment.</p><p>“We're just going to die here then? Including the entirety of Norwich? And maybe even the whole of Connecticut?” Angus angrily roared at the projected faces.</p><p>“We wish you all the best.” One by one, everyone from the screen dropped the call.</p><p>“That’s it?” A random voice called out from the room.</p><p>“We’re all going to <strong>die</strong>!” And then another one.</p><p>“And for what?” Stewart accusingly glowered at Vera.</p><p>“Grand Magus?” Thomas waited for her response expectantly.</p><p>The woman in question had a troubled expression on her. She looked around and finally met my gaze. I nodded at her in encouragement.</p><p>“I-” Vera started, but a slight shaking of the floor hindered her admission. Wide-eyed and filled with trepidation, her first reaction was to look at me apologetically. “I’m going to explain everything later. For now, everyone, protect yourselves.”</p><p>She immediately put herself in the front lines and braced herself for what was to come.</p><p>“Shouldn’t we be protecting you, Magus?” Thomas gawked in confusion.</p><p>“He’s right. You can’t <em>risk</em> yourself.” I knew that she understood what I meant. And one glance at her, I also heard her unspoken confession.</p><p>“What kind of leader would I be if I’m not willing to protect my people? It only makes sense for me to be the one to greet the demon, and I’m not<em> afraid</em>.” There were so much fire and sincerity in her eyes. As much as it pained me to let her, this was something she stood for, and I couldn’t allow myself to be in the way, because it wouldn't have been fair.</p><p>I refrained from any emotion to be visible on me. The urge to plead her, to stand in front of her; it was a lot to repress. My love for her still outweighed everything that I felt, and the greatness of that emotion made me desire what she wanted.</p><p>So instead, I did the single best thing I knew I could do: I remained by her side. My display of loyalty must have inspired some of the Council. They, too, had marched towards us to defend the rest.</p><p>Thunderous footsteps were audible from the outside, and then all of a sudden, the door vanished, and we were all faced with who I assumed was Xzhuria in a long, blue gown, a hoard of an undead army, and a smug green demon whose smirk was directed at Vera. I gulped at the realization of their identity.</p><p>“So,” Tiltidor grinned maniacally. “We meet again,<em> Grand Magus</em>.”</p><p>“Again?” A member of The Council gasped. “Grand Magus, what does the demon mean by that?” </p><p>“Oh, you didn’t know? Well, of course, you didn’t. You wanna tell them yourself, Magus?”</p><p>“Too late.” Tiltidor snapped their fingers, which caused Vera's mouth to disappear. My heart quickened as my fury grew. It wasn't until she tugged at my shirt and gave me a reassuring look that I was able to calm myself. “You see, your Magus here summoned me not too long ago to- and you’ll never guess this, retrieve her magic.”</p><p>“What?” The effect it had only spurred Tiltidor on.</p><p>“And it was stolen by some previously dead werewolf named Alyssa Drake. Y’all must know who that is, hmm?” </p><p>“Alyssa Drake is alive?” Someone echoed.</p><p>Vera made a sound, distracting the demon's aims. “What was that? Were you trying to beg for your life?”</p><p>Tiltidor snapped his fingers again in curiosity, and her mouth was back. “No. I said you’re pretty petty for a demon.”</p><p>“Oh, you bitch-” They were cut off when the back of Xzhuria's hand came into contact with their chest.</p><p>“Tiltidor, your time’s up.” The empress's melodic voice commanded. “It’s time for me and my daughter to reunite as you’ve promised.”</p><p>“Daughter?”</p><p>“Oh, right. Does the name Lilith Bathory ring any bells? We need her.” Tiltidor scanned the room.</p><p>“And if we give her to you, you’re going to go?” Thomas negotiated.</p><p>“Of course. But not before we’ve ripped this place apart.”</p><p>“Thomas, you can’t seriously be thinking of staying. It’s time to go.” Mr. Bernard scoffed. </p><p>Thomas's response was forced and his gaze remained at Vera the entire time. “You’re… right. We should go.”</p><p>“This was a nice day for revelations, wasn’t it, Vera? Too bad you won’t get to enjoy it.” The idiotic Councilor smirked.</p><p>“What about us?” An acolyte posed.</p><p>“You can blame Vera if you die.” </p><p>“What?” Complaints and panicked shrieks were heard all over the room. </p><p>"<em>Ianuae magicae</em>." With a teleportation device that the Head of Council took out of his briefcase, they all disappeared. </p><p>“Well, now that all of <em> that </em> was over, where is the Empress’s daughter?”</p><p>Gabrielle's incessant annoyed tone reverberated. “Randall, let her go. Nicole, it’s going to be fine.”</p><p>Right then, the crowd parted for them, and everyone was audience to the scene that took place. Randall's grip was on Lilith's wrist while Nicole's tears were a continuous waterfall.</p><p>“I’m right here,” Lilith called out as soon as the two unwillingly accepted her determination.</p><p>Xzhuria's smile was timid, nevertheless, it was there. “My beloved, come to me.”</p><p>Lilith scrunched her nose. “Beloved, my ass. You are never going to get any closer to me because I’m not going to let you.”</p><p>Her mouth was turned upside down. “You have no choice. I own you now.” </p><p>“Hell, no.”</p><p>“You better not deny Xzhuria what she wants. She’ll get you eventually. Better give yourself up while you still can.” Tiltidor tsked. </p><p>“No fucking way. You’re never going to drag me anywhere.” She slightly tilted her head to the side. “Now.”</p><p>“<em>In eu daemonium captionem.</em>” Gabrielle chanted, her bleeding palm upon a more potent version of the demon trap.</p><p>“Since when did you guys plan that?” Randall shot at them taking offense.</p><p>“Everybody stay behind us!” Vera yelled as the army started moving towards us. "Use every spell you've ever learned and find a way to save yourselves. We will be right in front of you."</p><p>I signed at Randall, Gabrielle, and Jack, mentally wishing them luck.</p><p>“A demon trap? You think you can contain me with a demon trap?” Xzhuria seethed.</p><p>“For a little while.” Lilith shrugged.</p><p>“And how is that going to help you and everybody else in this room?”</p><p>“Not sure, but it’s gonna give me time to be able to do this.” Fire spurted straight out her hands and her mouth.</p><p>The surprise attack served to Lilith’s advantage, and she kept going.</p><p>But it didn't take long for Xzhuria to be back on her feet again and instantly caught Lilith's fire with ease. </p><p>Nicole attempted to help, but even with preoccupied hands, the demon retaliated through the demon's feet. Balls of fire were released from them. Gabrielle hastily rushed beside her. “<em>Scutum usque</em>.”</p><p>The clashing of the shield she conjured up and the powerful demonic attack caused her to lose balance, but Randall caught her.</p><p>“Don’t put yourself in too much danger.” Vera and I looked at each other and then straight ahead. </p><p>“You too.” Possessing only a magical sword, she lunged towards the crowd of our enemies' allies, and I followed suit.</p><p>The battle went on for a couple of minutes before Xzhuria concluded that she's had enough. “You’re not making this easy? Then I will.”</p><p>She waved her hand to the side, a dark circle slowly forming that turned into a vacuum that magnetized us all towards it. With one-hundred percent certainty, I gathered that that thing was a portal.</p><p>Despite the harsh winds and the inescapable pull, Lilith stood her ground and resumed launching strikes at the opponent. </p><p>Vera did absolutely all that was in her limited power to stop everyone and herself from being sucked in. The three other Knights let their wolves out to assist Vera.</p><p>In the corner of my eye, I noticed Angus nearing the portal. Without hesitation, I run towards him whilst taking my shirt off. As I approached him, I recognized that I had no time.<em> Not my favorite pants. </em></p><p>Tundra scratched at the ground, creating something we could hold onto. And before it was too late, Tundra extended a paw for Angus to reach. I growled in his direction to alert him of my efforts, which he successfully did. But regardless of the attempts to hold on, we were slipping away. </p><p>I closed my eyes in fear, unable to think clearly. But then, I felt myself being lifted from the hole. It was Greybeard that came to our rescue.</p><p>I panted relentlessly after being placed onto the floor. Everything was still in chaos. My eyes searched for all my friends and Vera, and a wave of comfort settled in me. They were all still alive-</p><p>“Vera?” Jack, who was back in his human form, noticed Vera staring at something.</p><p>She was a deer caught in headlights once she captured my gaze.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” It was as if everything was in slow motion. She surged towards Xzhuria, a spell spilling off of her lips. “<em>Percussit eam in capite-in</em>.” Her hands were towards the empress's right rib, a glow resembling a lightning bolt coming out of her fingers. A shrill scream and then two bodies down.</p><p>"<em>Vera</em>."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hi. I hope nobody wants to commit murder after reading that. This isn't the end. That's all I'd like to say about this chapter. :)</p><p>also, forgive my horribly google-translated Latin. :((( I don't actually speak it, but I still use it for continuity's sake.</p><p>leave whatever y'all wanna leave as usual.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. i don't wanna know what it's like to live without you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Did Vera die?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from Ruelle's "The Other Side"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Everything was in slow motion. </em>
</p><p>"<em>Vera</em>." I sobbed out after hastily transforming. I was down on my knees in seconds. My eyes never left the body sprawled on the floor, but there was no fight left in me. We were mere meters apart, but I could not find it in me to move. Imagining how it would feel to have her in my arms, lifeless; it was torture enough. </p><p>In the corner of my eye, I noticed my friends fighting for me. Randall, Gabrielle, and Nicole were taking advantage of the weakening portal and threw off the remaining hoard of undead.</p><p>Jack rushed to Vera’s side, disregarding the struggle it took to get to her. His determination was apparent. And if only I didn't feel like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, I would have been at awe at his display. I diverted my attention back to the woman whose fall caused my own, with full expectations of her being still but hopes that she wouldn't be. I was surprised to notice her stirring from her unconsciousness. She was up in a matter of seconds, disoriented. </p><p>“Wait, what?” Despite my nakedness, I stood up as quickly as I could and ran towards her. As soon as I reached her, I engulfed her with a tight embrace. My head was buried on her nape, and I didn't care about suffocation. She was life itself; all I needed was her to survive.</p><p>“Oh my god.” Gabrielle cried in relief. She was looking back in our direction, halting for a moment from protecting the rest of us after witnessing the scene.</p><p>“What happened?” Jack was confused but unmistakably relieved. “Did the necromancer lie?”</p><p>Up until then, I refused to let her go. It was as if I couldn't. “I don’t know. But right now, we have no time to discuss. The demon has a weakness caused by entering the realm-” </p><p>Lilith was in my view, still trying her best to defeat the empress. “Yes, and I think Lilith is having fun trying to hit that-”</p><p>“Um, guys! There’s another wolf!” Nicole announced. And she was right. On top of Xzhuria was a clinging, pitch-black wolf who, in their best attempts, was using their claws to scratch at the demon.</p><p>“Who is that?” Randall clenched his teeth from pushing off more of the army.</p><p>“Alyssa?” Jack returned with a question.</p><p>Lilith used the opportunity to her advantage, hurling balls of fire as much as she could in the hopes of getting a lucky shot. Unfortunately, due to the overly aggravated state of the empress, she ended up missing.</p><p>“Tiltidor!” Xzhuria screeched.</p><p>“Yes, mistress.” Tiltidor was panicked. “Oh, fuck. Get off of her!”</p><p>They hurriedly grabbed the wolf by its fur and sent it flying to the other side. It, indeed, turned out to be Alyssa, and it was Jack's turn to race towards her. He then brought her to Vera and I, nodding at me, entrusting me to aid in her recovery.</p><p>Jack takes over for Alyssa in figuring out how to distract Xzhuria. His efforts were not much of use after the demon caught sight of him and attempted to charge at him. Thankfully, Gabrielle was swift enough with another shield she conjured in front of Jack.</p><p>Vera magicked two black robes and handed them to Alyssa and I. Alyssa was jarred by the offer and the clothing itself. She looked at both the dark material and Vera with uncertainty. “Hurry up, Ms. Drake. We have a demon to banish.”</p><p>“What do we do?” Alyssa muttered.</p><p>“The plan is simple: banish the demon.” Vera was about to leave when I sought out her hand and tugged at it.</p><p>"Wait- Vera? Are you gonna be okay?" There was no doubt in my mind that I was so close to crying my eyes out in fear again. We were in the middle of battle, and I didn't want to cause her to lose focus when I was being this way. But there was no way in a million hells that I was going to lose her twice today.<em> I don't ever want to lose her. </em></p><p>With a single look, Vera was able to convey to me a million things. I knew she could never answer me straightforward. As much as we wanted to, we never owned our fate. But when she leaned in to press a soft kiss to my lips, I wanted to believe that we do decide the future after all. I wanted to believe that with the two of us together, we could conquer it all. "For you, I will be."</p><p>And with that, Vera was back to helping the students. Using her magic to its full potential, she cast everyone else into a protective force field, and all that was left outside of it was us. </p><p>“Just trust me, Randall.” I heard Gabrielle convince Randall.</p><p>“Fine.” He grumbled.</p><p>“<em>Verbera ex, </em>” They both recited a basic attack spell at Tiltidor, who was slightly taken aback by it.</p><p>"Wasn't that bad, was it?" Gabrielle teased.</p><p>I instantly lunged towards Tiltidor to continue the momentum. "<em>Ut irrumabo descendit.</em>" And they were down.</p><p>Alyssa and Lilith disappeared for a millisecond and then reappeared accurately at Xzhuria's side. Lilith, without hesitation, hit her at her weak spot, which was glowing red and only burned brighter after Lilith's triumphant assault. The demon screamed in pain and collapsed from the intensity of it.</p><p>The empress lifted her head at Lilith. “You may escape me now, but not forever. You need us. You will need us because we’re what’s left when everyone else from these people perish.”</p><p>“You’ll never fuck with me again! Not now, not ever.” Lilith kicked Xzhuria towards the portal, where she was sucked in.</p><p>“Don’t come back, Tiltidor.” Vera, who just arrived at my side, smirked at them. Tiltidor said nothing, only mimicked Vera's expression. Randall had the honors of throwing them in.</p><p>“Alyssa, why did you come here?” Jack shook his head at her, not waiting for privacy to discuss. She never responded, but the way she shifted her gaze towards Lilith spoke volumes of her intentions. Jack remained silent as well, completely understanding her reason.</p><p>"Um..." Gabrielle trailed off. Her head tipped towards everyone else who were still stuck inside the protection.</p><p>“Everyone is dismissed." Vera declared after getting them out of the shield.</p><p>I caught Angus staring at me, but I couldn’t read his expression. He lowered his gaze, seemingly in deep thought. Right as the majority of the students exited, he bowed in my direction, his eyes still not meeting mine. And then he turned away and left.</p><p>No one said anything for a while. There was a comfort in the silence, and we all took the time to fully digest what just occurred. There was no way we could ever recoup in such a short period, but still, we tried.</p><p>“Now what?” Alyssa broke the silence.</p><p>“What about everyone else in the world?” Gabrielle pitched in.</p><p>“Oh, come on. We just defeated an empress demon and her hoard of zombies. Do you really have to ruin the party?” Randall joked and received an unimpressed look from Gabrielle. “Just kidding, of course.”</p><p>“Isn’t the Order like the Illuminati? Don’t we have members from all walks of life? Why don’t we get some of our scientist friends to create some excuse as to why the earthquake occurred.” Jack proposed.</p><p>“What do you think?” Nicole referred the question to both Vera and me.</p><p>“I’ll take it.” I glanced at Vera, waiting for her response.</p><p>“I’ll make some calls as soon as possible. Hopefully, one of them will still take orders from me.” Vera sighed in exhaustion.</p><p>"Drinks at the den?" Randall suggested, a yawn following afterward.</p><p>"Fuck it. Why don't we just do it here?" Lilith shrugged.</p><p>"But it's a mess?" Gabrielle scanned the Temple and wrinkled her nose at the state of the place.</p><p>"It's perfect." Vera's mouth quirked up a little.</p><p>I smiled at the fatigued-looking people surrounding me.<em> Maybe we could conquer anything as long as we were together. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well, Vera's not dead. Surprise, surprise. Of course, she's not. Who would wanna kill Vera??? Plussss, this is mostly Vermish so it wouldn't make sense without the two of them actually ending up together. </p><p>I'm not very good at writing action-packed sequences... :(</p><p>Soooooo..... how was that??? This is the second to the last chapter. How are we all feeling? I've really enjoyed writing this fic. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it too.</p><p>If I took a long time, I'm really sorry :((( I really do try to write as fast as I could but my brain is all used up. I've been needing longer breaks lately.</p><p>Anyway, #RenewTheOrder :)))) and leave what yall wanna leave, as usual &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. a looking glass can only show you so much</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The end.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from "Astral Plane" by Valerie June</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>last chapter :( sorry this took so long... will say more at the end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Waking up beside Vera Stone will never fail to be the highlight of my every single day. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mornings to me will forever remain a constant surprise. Having been a Knight for almost nine years, opening my eyes to a new dawn has always been a bizarre and overwhelming experience. And having her here right beside me as I welcome these daily breaths of relief, it gave me so much more to be hopeful for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every glimpse I have of her is a glimpse of my future. She was everything I never thought I would want, but now I'm scared to lose. There was not an ounce on my body that could comprehend how lucky I am to have this woman in my life. There were no words in existence that could explain why or how we work, but still, we do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We are everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After taking in the sunlight beaming through her windows as if it was her first time in a long while, she finally returns my gaze, the smile on her wide like I have never seen before. There was perhaps an entire hour of just comfortable silence of us holding hands and breathing in the familiar yet surprisingly foreign air. Our lives had shifted in a matter of months and then weeks. And in a few hours, so much more could still happen to ruin this feeling we're feeling, but that didn't matter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…” I eventually broke the quiet. “What’s on the agenda today?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to talk to Council.” Right, Council. There's a whole lot of explaining that needs to be done. Vera's unquestionably going to be grilled by that asshole Bernard. We must be thinking of the same thing judging from the look on her face. I squeezed her hand in hopes of reassuring her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Whatever happens, you know I’m here right?” I notice her exhale heavily as if she was relieved of the reminder, “And not just me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know. We’re gonna get through this no matter what comes after this meeting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Grand Magus.” The Head of the Council greeted the two of us with a curt nod. It was intimidating, to say the least, to feel the intent gazes of people who have the ability to decide our fate in mere minutes. I, of course, held my head high despite the trepidation beneath the surface.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thomas, you shouldn’t call her that anymore-” As suspected, the annoyance called Mr. Bernard voiced what I can only assume is one of his first complaints. I couldn't help but somehow agree with him, though. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why was Thomas acting the opposite of what I expected?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Last time I checked, I was the Head of this council.” Thomas directed an expressionless stare to the nuisance and continued to confuse me and visibly the entire Council. Vera, on the other hand, kept her composure and greeted him back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s good to see you all.” Thomas motioned for the two of us to take a seat. “I can see you’ve brought with you the Temple Magus.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vera ignored the question and clasped her hands together eagerly. “So, how do we begin this discussion?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe we should start with the whys.” Someone from the crowd proposed to which the Head agreed to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you not tell us you lost your magic?” Was the why he chose to address first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And answer us truthfully. If only it were up to me, we would be using the glove of truth on you right now.” The bothersome man spoke out of turn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But it isn’t up to you, and this is not an interrogation.” Vera was signalled to proceed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t tell any of you for a few reasons. First of all, I thought for sure that I would get it back immediately, and I was right. Another reason, when was the last time you trusted a high-ranking Order member with your whole heart? And not because of manipulative charms or because they’re the Grand Magus, but because you saw the leadership they possessed and believed in their capability. This position was something I worked hard for. And right before I accepted to become Grand Magus, I assured myself that I was going to be a better leader. The progress I wanted to make and my distrust for every single one of you was enough fear to drive me to keep secrets. If any of you found out, you would have deemed me unfit to lead and cast me out without hesitation. I didn't want to compromise my chances of succeeding."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what great leadership builds itself on deception? And it’s our fault you don’t trust us, not that you've been willfully isolating yourself? Unless, of course, if you needed someone for something.” Mr. Bernard sniped and the rest of the room was clearly torn from each of the valid points made by both sides. Regardless of how she tried to hide it, my instincts just knew that Vera was fuming. I gave her a glance that I hoped delivered to her what I wished to say: "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Let me help."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I cleared my throat to gain the attention of everyone. “If I may, I would like to say something." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"From how I’ve observed this society, I can say that you don’t actually give a reason for anyone to trust you. Have you ever noticed that every single one of our enemies over the past months has all told us a similar thing: we’re elitist assholes. We don’t care enough. We don’t try to understand. This secret society is no society. Acolytes enter expecting somewhere they could belong and find purpose. Instead, they're met by greediness and contempt hidden behind masks and disguised as leaders.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Your definition of society is filled with sentiment." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Is that so wrong?" Vera came to my defense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mr. Bernard replied with a haughty release of breath. "Vera Stone, talking about sentimentality- hah! Now, that's funny. You really sticking to this "changed person" act?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"This is exactly what's wrong. I've come to recognize that. Compassion is treated as a folly. This Order is filled with humans who have forgotten that they are just that. And because of the example that we have shown, we are creating more and more heartless monsters."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Right as the argument was just getting to its most intense, the Head stood up and banged his hands thrice to table. "Okay, I think that's enough of that. I'd like to speak to the Grand Magus and the Temple Magus in private."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What? That's it?" Mr. Bernard cried incredulously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not necessarily. We still have to think about punishment, but for now, I'd like to have a conversation with them." He gave him a stern look. "Dismissed."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After the room was emptied with the exception of the three of us, Thomas smiled at Vera.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What convinced you?" She was rightfully disconcerted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It would be a lie to tell you that I never considered banishing you, but it would also be a lie to tell you that I never believed in you. I did. And I guess all it took for me to stick with what I believed in is for someone else to remind me." He paused for a moment, clearly reminiscing some very dear recollections. "I received a phone call from one of your acolytes. He's said quite some things about the two of you. First, there were complaints, and I thought for sure that was a sign. But then he continued, and I had to rethink what kind of sign I was actually given."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vera looked back at me, confused as to who the mystery caller was, which I responded to with a shrug. I had assumed that everyone was prepared to throw us to the metaphorical wolves, but maybe not. Whoever it was, they were absolutely unexpected. Unless... </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. "So, you were never planning to interrogate me- us? It was all for the reassurance of the rest of the Council?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You could say that. Especially in his case. You're the best Grand Magus we've had in decades, and you would know that. That might not say much since..." he trailed off, unmistakably not wanting to utter the name, Edward Coventry. "But hearing how that acolyte spoke about you, it reawakened the acolyte I was a long time ago. You make me feel hopeful, and I'm certain that I'm not the only one." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Now, if we could finish this. Is there anything else you'd like to confess?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We're in a relationship." She declared out of nowhere.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a second, he was in shock but recovered immediately. "Okay? Is that it?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vera mirrored his prior reaction, but grinned widely after his nonchalance. "Yes. Thank you so much, Thomas. I always thought you didn't belong here being the goodhearted person you are. But I was wrong with what I wanted to change."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, Vera, I actually forgot something. We still have to discuss your punishment soon. My judgment towards you might be a bit biased, but I can't let people think that I'm going easy on you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay. Call me once you've reached a decision."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was a crazy and wonderful sight to behold. </span>
  </em>
  <span>There were some uncertain stares, but the majority of the temple was filled with hopeful and grateful spirits. Vera and I were the forefront of something so familiar yet so new and tonight was the celebration of a new beginning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Promises can be scary because people and times can be very unpredictable. But today is the day to renew." Vera declared through the echoes of the great hall we were in. “This is the start of a new Order. A better one. One that will not trample on its subjects' needs or principles. One where each voice is heard and treated with value."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone cheered with their glasses raised to the air. Vera blinked her eyes multiple times, trying to hide the tears. This was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>happiest</span>
  </em>
  <span> that I've seen her and as I witnessed the scene playing before me, I can't say I blame her. There were hugs from everywhere, smiles so bright; it was the first time this Order really felt like home, like a family. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And speaking of family, my own did their celebration in the small corner of the bar, clinking their glasses to each other's, giggling at some stupid pun Randall probably said, and Lilith and Gabrielle rolling their eyes at the ridiculousness of it all. I was so thrilled to approach them and join in on their party, but someone caught my eye. "Angus?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was sitting alone, averting his gaze from looking down at the drinking on his hand to me. "Shouldn't you be addressing me through my last name?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was apparent he knew what I came to him for, so I didn't hesitate to be direct. "Thank you."   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"For what?" His attempt to feign innocence was pointless and he, too, realized that. "I don't like owing to anybody. No one in my family likes debts."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You never owed me anything."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not for saving my life, no."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're a good man, Angus." I patted him on the shoulder in gratitude.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If I wasn't a werewolf, I wouldn't have been able to hear it but he whispered, "Thank you, Temple Magus." It was an act I deeply appreciated from him. He remained to be one of the few people who finally took my new position seriously. I chuckled in glee and returned to what I was going to do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A couple of hours came midnight and everyone was let go from the party. Vera and I, however, stayed longer in expectation of a visit from a certain </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And she eventually came. I got up from my seat to attend to her which she took the wrong way. “Oh, hush. The Grand Magus wants to see me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I know. Come in."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vera's back was faced towards us. “I’ve been expecting you. How come you took so long?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What can I say? I like the suspense.” She looked at me as if awaiting me to exit the room, but I shook my head. Vera and I talked about this earlier and since we weren't keeping any secrets to each other anymore, I was allowed to hear from the primary source.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So?” Vera expected an answer. “I didn’t die?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if for comical suspense, the necromancer did a full body scan. “I can see that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I was going to, wasn’t I? How-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You might not like what I’ve done, but it was the only way I knew how to not get you to die. I connected our souls."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So we're eternally connected? If you die, I die." The necromancer shrugged in response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you did this during our last encounter. That’s why you touched my elbow.” She received another shrug. “Why have you been helping me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t I tell you I could see the future? I always know the right path to take.” It was likely going to be a cycle of this. From an ominous response to another ominous response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what do you mean by that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re better than Coventry.” That name quickly had my attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know what you think of me. And I know myself. I acknowledge my antagonism against The Order, but I have my reasons. Until recently, you were just like the rest of them. Elitist, rich douchebags who care about no one but yourselves. But at this moment, I’m looking directly at change. And you can’t blame me if I wanna see what that might look like.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m a bored woman, Vera Stone. Give someone who can manipulate the future too much time and knowledge and eventually, everything new loses its sense of excitement. This, however, was an interesting story to watch unfold, don’t you think?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For you, it might have been.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would feel sorry for you, but you did learn a lot, didn’t you? What was that they said about experiences? That they’re the greatest teachers? And would you say that that’s true in your case?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you wanted to teach me a lesson?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not necessarily, but it doesn’t hurt to know more, doesn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Actually, it did, but I see your point.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll see you again very soon, Grand Magus. Keep the story interesting.” Before disappearing from view, she turned her back at us and winked. "And don't worry, I'm practically invincible."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THE END.</p>
<p>I'm really sorry if I took so long to update. :( I know it really sucked to disappear right before I actually ended this fic, but I was really unmotivated to write anything... :((((( Thank you for reading, everyone and I'll see you in season 3 (if The Order gets renewed)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this was v experimental and I'd like to believe this is quite different from my other Vermish fics so I hope I did a good enough job. I also hope this doesn't come off as weirdly worded or anything like that.</p><p>I'm still not sure where exactly I'm going with this plotwise, so I may take even longer on my uploads. I already have a vague idea and also, a bunch of titles but nothing specific yet. I will still also try to release more content on my Vermish Fluff-fest series, but no promises. </p><p>Let me know what you guys think! If you want to, that is.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>